From The Very Beginning
by Clexa15
Summary: Clarke's father, Jake Griffin, works for the U.S Military. Doing what, she's not so sure. He's never disclosed that type of information. Every time she asks she gets the same answer over and over. "It's classified information." But when her life suddenly gets turned upside down, she's not sure she wants to know anymore. *Full summary inside*
1. Meeting

_"_ _If you find me not within you, you will never find me. For I have been with you, from the very beginning."_

* * *

Two bodies sat in the back of a dark van, each tied down by thick braided ropes. Their bodies swayed as the vehicle began to drive over rough terrain. One of the bodies, a blonde haired female, was desperately trying to get free of her bindings, her pale skin becoming a bright red as it rubbed against the ropes.

Across from her another female, brunette, simply rolled her eyes,"Would you stop that? You're doing nothing but rubbing your skin raw. If I can't get out of these ropes then you sure as hell can't."

The blonde huffed deeply, still trying to free herself,"I wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't been stalking me like some crazy person. I would be safe at home and in my bed."

"I told you I wasn't stalking you. I just so happened to be getting home at the same time as you."

"For the fifth time that week? Really, Lexa?" The blonde snapped.

The brunette, Lexa, decided it was best not to respond and instead began trying to sneak a peak through the almost blacked out backdoor window of the van. In the darkness, both in the van and outside, she could just barely make out the blur of trees from the window.

"It looks like they're taking us into some woods. Judging by how long we've been driving we may be somewhere near the Prince William Forest Park," Lexa spoke mainly to herself as she tried to calculate the distance that they had been traveling since she woke up in the van.

"What are you some human navigation system? How would you even know that?" Clarke commented snidely.

Lexa was just about to throw back a snide comment of her own when the van came to a halting stop causing both of them to fall on their sides onto the floor of the van. The sound of the vehicle's doors opening and closing had Lexa pushing herself back up into a sitting position as fast as she could while the sound of footsteps made their way to the backdoor of the van. Lexa waited with baited breath as the double doors swung open to reveal two huge men. One with a shiny shave head, murky brown eyes and a long scar above his eyebrow. The other with shaggy black hair barely reaching past his chin, cold grey eyes, and a dragon tattoo curling around the side of his neck.

Next to her, Lexa could hear Clarke let out the tiniest of whimpers before steeling herself and pushing up off the van's floor and next to Lexa.

"What the hell do you want with us?" Clarke demanded to know.

The bald man only snorted at the blonde's sudden braveness before he grabbed ahold of Clarke's ankle and pulled her towards him. Clarke let out a shocked yelp as she suddenly found herself within a hair's breath of the man's face.

"Your father has something my boss wants. So, he's going to use _you_ to get it."

* * *

 _Five Months Ago…_

A pair of keys jingled noisily in the fingers of a pale hand. A beautiful curvy blonde sighed tiredly as she began clearing the flights of stairs that would lead her to her fifth story apartment.

Clarke Griffin was your average, everyday 24-year-old…or at least she liked to think so. Blonde hair that shone like the sun itself, deep cobalt eyes that put the ocean to shame, pale porcelain skin, and lips as soft as a lily's petals. Yes, she was beautiful. Clarke knew she was, with the amount of suitors flocking her way it didn't make it difficult for her to figure out. Since the ripe age of fifteen she had had her fair share of dates with guys, _and girls_ , alike…but none that really kept her interest.

She also liked to think her family life was fairly normal. Her mother, Abby Griffin, being head surgeon at DC's largest hospital, Arkadia Memorial, and her father, Jake Griffin, working for the U.S. Military doing…well she wasn't quite sure seeing as to how all of his work was classified. Her parents were constantly busy but they still made sure to spend some time with her, at least what their work schedules and her college classes would allow.

 _Speaking of schedules…_

"God, I'm going to kill Harper for canceling our study group and not telling me. I could be in bed already," Clarke mumbled under her breath as she finally reached the fifth floor.

Being in her second year of medical school was really taking it's tole on her. It seemed like there was a never ending pile of homework and text books that demanded her attention every day which spurred an almost nonexistent sleeping schedule. Every living second that was free from school or helping her best friend Raven at her shop was spent in her bed. And at this very point in time she hadn't seen her bed in almost twenty-four hours.

That was a crime in itself.

As she walked down the hallway towards her apartment Clarke allowed her eyes to drift close for a moment as she imagined herself sinking down into her satin sheets wearing nothing but her favorite oversized college sweater. So lost in her own little world and eyes still shut, Clarke had failed to notice the slender body, arms filled with boxes, that was making it's way towards her.

"Shit!"

The blonde was jolted, quite literally, from her daydream as she knocked into the boxes, successfully sending herself and the person carrying them, to the ground. Clarke tumbled to the floor ungracefully, her ass smacking hard into the floor and causing her to wince. She took a moment to collect herself before looking up and over the mess of boxes and scattered belongings. In front of her was a - _the most_ \- gorgeous woman she had ever laid her eyes on. Soft brunette waves cascaded over her shoulder and left the right side of her delicate neck exposed, she wore a button down denim shirt tucked into black ripped skinny jeans, white vans completing the look.

Green eyes.

She was definitely a vision…at least until she started speaking.

"What the hell is your problem? Can't you watch where you're going?"

"Excuse me?" Clarke's enamored stated for the woman's beauty instantly deteriorated," _I_ wasn't the one carrying a shit ton of boxes and not being cautious enough to watch for other people walking innocently down the hallway!"

"Exactly! I couldn't _see_. You _weren't_ the one carrying the boxes so _you_ should have been the one to see _me_. Or maybe you were just too caught up in that small brain of your's to pay any attention to your surroundings." The woman huffed as she picked herself off the floor and began collecting the items that were scattered about.

Clarke's nose wrinkled angrily at the brunette's words, a hot flush creeping up her neck and rushing around her ears,"Well, I'm _so_ sorry my 'small brain' is currently sleep deprived due to all the _med school_ classes and study sessions that I take. And not to mention helping my best friend on top of that."

She knew it was a stupid come back and she wanted nothing more than to wince as the words left her mouth. But Clarke couldn't help but feel slightly smug as she saw the taller woman's eyebrows shoot up towards her hairline a bit before schooling her features back into a scowl once more.

"You mean to tell me _you're_ Clarke?"

The blonde reeled back, a bit surprised that the woman knew her name,"Yeah. How the hell do you know my name?"

The brunette looked her over for a second before turning back to finish repacking the boxes,"I'm Lexa. I just moved in across from you…unfortunately. My neighbor, in 5D, told me about you. Seems she's quite…taken with you."

Clarke's angry flush swapped itself for an embarrassed blush. Niylah, the woman who she had slept with _one time_ after a party that Raven just had to throw at her apartment, was kind but just a bit clingy and pointblank. Clarke had no doubt in her mind that Niylah just let it 'slip' that they had slept together while telling Lexa all about her.

And judging by the way Lexa looked at her with a devious smirk that was exactly what happened.

"What I do on my own time is my business. Not yours," Clarke huffed as she maneuvered around the mess and closed the short distance to her door, now noticing the boxes that lined the wall opposite of it.

"I think you mean _who_ ," she heard Lexa say smugly.

She turned and pinned the brunette with a glare before pushing her way inside her apartment and slamming the door. As she leaned back against it she sore she could hear Lexa snort out a chuckle before her footsteps receded down the hallway. Clarke groaned inwardly as she replayed the last few minutes in her head.

The last thing she needed right now was for an insufferable new neighbor who _clearly_ thought that she was all high and mighty. And the fact that Clarke was instantly attracted to her, before she opened her mouth, didn't help her cause any. Now she would have to dodge and weave to stay away from Lexa because there was no doubt that they would just continue to argue with one another just like they were seconds ago. And Clarke didn't have time nor the patience to deal with that. Not with midterms coming up. No way.

A small shuffle outside her door caught her attention and had her turning around to investigate through the glass peep hole on her door. Blue eyes adjusted through the lens to see Lexa lugging more boxes into her apartment. Clarke couldn't help but bite her lip to stifle the moan that left her throat. The brunette had removed her denim shirt to reveal a tank top underneath leaving her slightly muscular arms bare and showing off a tattoo on her right bicep. The white material clung to her abdomen and, as Lexa walked back out her apartment, she could clearly see the outline of abs.

Breathless, Clarke pushed herself away from her door and tried to collect herself. She was supposed to be angry at Lexa, not getting herself hot and bothered by the image of her in a tank top. The woman had insulted her brain for crying out loud! Anger spiking, Clarke moved further into her apartment and threw her bag onto the couch before making her way towards the kitchen for a much needed beer.

As she popped the top off and took a long sip she felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket. Pulling it out a smile ghosted across her face as Raven's name and a picture of the fiery Latina covered the screen. Clarke hit the accept button before taking a seat at her dining room table.

"Hey, how's my favorite mechanic?"

"She's doing fucking awesome!" Raven all but yelled into the phone,"I just finished fixing that car today, you know the one for that senator guy or whatever he is? He payed me triple what I normally charge! So, how about you and me hit up that new club, Polis, downtown? Food and drinks on me!"

Clarke giggled a bit as she took another swig of her beer,"Hell yes. You think I would turn down free food and drinks? Not a chance. Plus I could totally use the distraction right now."

"Oh? Something got your panties in a twist?"

"More like _someone_ ," Clarke scoffed,"I'll tell you when we get to Polis because I have to get ready, unless you want me to pick me up while I'm wearing sweat pants and an old t-shirt."

Raven's laugh flowed through the phone's speaker,"You'd probably still be able to pick up a major hottie even in sweats, but I'd prefer you in something else. Why not pull out that sexy blue number in the back of your closet? Give it a little ride around the club tonight. I mean, we are technically celebrating."

"It _has_ been a while since I wore it," Clarke said as she played with her now half empty beer bottle,"Why the hell not? Give me about thirty minutes and I'll be ready."

"Sure! I'll see you soon princess," Raven said.

Clarke cringed at the nickname,"I should really strangle Fin for getting you started on that name."

"Well, I don't feel like bailing you out of jail tonight so that'll have to wait. Now, go get ready!" Raven teased before hanging up.

Clarke sat her phone down on the table as she stood up and made her way towards her room. Thankfully she had taken a shower that morning and only needed to apply her makeup and fix up her hair that was currently thrown up in a messy ponytail. Walking into her ensuite bathroom she flipped the light switch and walked over to the counter where her makeup bag currently sat. She looked herself over in the mirror for a minute before deciding that she would stay light on the makeup.

She applied some eyeshadow, giving her eyes a light smoky look, followed by a bit of mascara, and then a natural colored lip gloss. Makeup done, Clarke was ready to start on the real problem…her wild hair. Normally her hair flowed down her back in natural loose waves but thanks to her putting it up in a bun while wet it was currently in misshapen curls. Sighing, Clarke realized that she would have to pull out her curling iron to fix the damage down to it.

Fifteen minutes after pulling out the curling iron Clarke was running her fingers through bouncy waves to give them a somewhat more natural look. With a quick once over she deemed herself ready to get dressed and realized she had barely enough time to do so before Raven would show up. True to her word, once she had made it back into her room and over to the closet, Clarke reached towards the back and pulled out the 'blue sexy number' that Raven insisted she wear.

After chucking her sweats and t-shirt into the laundry hamper in the corner of her room, Clarke pulled the dress up her body and smiled at the snug fit. She instantly fell in love with the dress after trying it on during a weekend shopping trip with Raven. The dress was a sleeveless bandage bodycon dress and was a deep blue that made her eyes simply sparkle and pop. The last time she had worn this dress she found herself bringing home a nice bit of company in the form of an all too willing female, not that she was complaining.

Just as she was slipping into her nude heels, the sound of her front door opening and closing caught her attention.

"Princess! Are you ready yet? I've been outside for like ten minutes!" Raven's voice carried down the hallway.

Clarke rolled her eyes as she grabbed her bag off her bed and walked out the bedroom. The Latina was currently leaning against the wall at the edge of the hallway messing with her nails until she caught sight of the blonde.

"About damn time. I thought I would have to send a search party."

Blue eyes rolled once more,"I literally have two minutes left from the thirty I told you I needed. It's not my fault you're impatient."

"Whatever," Raven said as she pushed herself off the wall and grabbed Clarke's hand to begin dragging her towards the door,"Let's go! I'm ready to drink to my hearts content. I got us a Lyft for the night, that way we won't end up walking home like last time."

Clarke laughed as she closed and locked the door behind her,"You mean when _I_ had to walk home and carry you all the way?"

"Hey, to be fair, I walked for a good five minutes before my legs turned to jelly," Raven said as they made their way down the flights of stairs.

"Sure you did," Clarke scoffed.

The banter was light between them as they reached the ground floor. Exiting the building Clarke allowed Raven to lead her over to where their driver waited patiently for them. The man, no more than two years older than them, kindly opened the door for them before shutting it softly behind them. The ride to the club was filled with music and laughter and a surprise mini flask of vodka that Raven had pulled out from God knows where. Before long their driver was pulling to a stop at the front of Polis.

After thanking the man and checking to make sure their scheduled pick up time was correct both ladies made their way towards the entrance of the club. The line outside the large double doors would have had anyone groaning at the thought of the long wait but Clarke didn't even spare it a second glance. Not when she had Raven Reyes with her. Her best friend knew how to whip her high ponytail around, bat her eyelashes, flaunt the perfect curve of her ass, and get what she wanted.

 _Every time._

So, the sharp glares and loud gasps as the somewhat flustered bouncer moved the velvet rope aside for them to enter didn't have any effect on either of them. They were used to it. And neither Clarke nor Raven cared about any thing else than getting some alcohol running through their systems and dancing the night away on the dance floor.

Polis was almost like any other club in Washington just…larger. The floor ahead of them was filled with a sea of bodies, all moving along with the beat of the music pumping loudly through the speakers. A few tables were scattered through the large area. Each one already filled with people drinking and mingling. The wall opposite them held a bar, stretching from one end of the club to the other. The right wall was lined with nothing but booths, brimming with college students and a few older patrons as they drank the night away. On the other side, the left wall, was a DJ's booth that was currently filled with some hot new DJ currently jumping along with the music himself as he turned a few knobs and dials on the soundboard.

Blue eyes caught a winding metal staircase and when Clarke looked up she caught sight of the lavish VIP loft area. Another bar, smaller than the one on the ground floor, sat in the center. A few tables sat along the edge near the railing but the rest of the VIP section was filled with five round leather couches. Each one blocked off by velvet ropes and surrounded by sheer white curtains. In the center of each couch was a low glass table, each housing a chilled bottle of wine and sparkling wine glasses.

 _Fancy._

But Clarke wasn't worried about the VIP section right now. Her mind was focused on getting her and Raven through the crowd and over to the bar to order the strongest drink they had. She would need to drink her weight in alcohol to forget about the rude ass that was her new neighbor. Pale hands gripped onto the Latina's hands and began to lead them through the sweating bodies, not caring too much when they were bumped into. Everyone was pretty much drunk off their asses and stumbling into anything and everything.

"Long Island Ice Tea, please," Clarke yelled out to the bartender as they finally reached the bar and occupied two seats.

Raven yelled her order to the bartender as well before he disappeared to make their drinks. They waited a few moments in comfortable silence, each one surveying the bar. Not five minutes later their drinks were placed in front of them, signaling for the beginning of a night filled with alcohol.

"So," Raven began as she sipped her Jungle Juice,"You going to tell me about this _someone_ who's got your panties in a twist?"

Clarke rolled her eyes and took a long swig of her drink to prepare herself for the oncoming story.

"Some woman moved into the apartment across from mine today. She was carrying a loud of boxes, which she shouldn't have been doing because she obviously couldn't see, and ran straight into me. Then she had the gull to cuss me out about how _I_ should have been the one to watch where I was going. Then she made a comment about being too caught up in my 'small brain' to pay attention to my surroundings -don't even say anything, Reyes," Clarke quickly cut her off when Raven opened her mouth,"And apparently she met _Niylah_ when she got in, so you know how that goes."

Raven's heard the stories of the blonde and how she pretty much bragged to anyone who came near Clarke that they had slept together. Basically it was just her trying to claim someone that wasn't really her's to begin with. Someone that would _never_ be her's.

"I told her what I do on my own time is my own business and she fucking smirks and says 'I think you mean _who_ '. Like, really? Who does that?"

"Damn, Griffin. You've got it bad," Raven said as she casually sipped her drink and stared at her friend.

"What do you mean?"

"Obviously, both of you were clearly wrong. You're neighbor…does she have a name?"

"Lexa," Clarke said begrudgingly.

"Lexa, okay. Obviously, Lexa shouldn't have been carrying so many boxes and _obviously_ you shouldn't have been stuck up in Griffin wonderland like you always are. Both of you should have been paying attention. So therefore, you both were in the wrong," Raven shrugged.

Clarke gripped her drink a little tighter in her hand. Of course, Raven Reyes just _had_ to pop in with her logic and bring down Clarke's mood. The blonde knew it was stupid, but she automatically put all the blame on the brunette because she _knew_ that she had been in the wrong. She knew that she should have been paying attention to her surroundings instead of daydreaming like she had been. But her damn pride wouldn't let her live up to it. Instead, her damn pride mouthed the first thing she thought of after Lexa's words were spat into her face. Which lead to her blaming the brunette.

"Ugh, why are you always like this, Raven?" Clarke said as she rested her head onto the bar.

"Just perks of being a fucking genius," Raven said smugly,"Besides, I haven't even told you the other half of what I'm thinking."

Clarke's head shot up from the table, brow crinkling in confusion,"What are you talking about?"

Raven cocked an eyebrow in her direction as she downed the rest of her drink,"How you have the hots for Lexa."

Clarke, who had been in the middle of sipping her drink, choked a bit as the alcohol went down the wrong pipe and burned the back of her throat. Coughing a bit, she took a few deep breathes before glaring over at her friend.

"I'm sorry, you think I have to _hots_ for Lexa. A woman I don't even know who was completely rude to me as soon as I met her?" Clarke asked, bewildered.

"Well duh. There's like crazy sexual tension floating around you when you say her name. You think she's hot and you want a piece of her," Raven said nonchalantly as she flagged down the bartender for another drink.

Clarke sat back in her seat, contemplating her best friend's words. She wasn't wrong. She'd felt something akin to desire when she had first set eyes on the woman sprawled out on the floor in front of her. But that had quickly switched to anger when she opened her mouth and after that changed to wanton desire when she watched her through her peep hole. Clarke bit her lip, keeping herself silent as she was afraid she might say something that would just dig her further into the hole that Raven had pushed her into. She turned in her chair and let her eyes wonder over the crowded club as she listened to Raven thank the bartender for her drink. As she down a healthy sip of her drink blue eyes caught a familiar form making it's way towards the bar.

Brunette waves.

Sharp jawline.

Powerful frame.

Tan skin.

 _Green eyes._

Fucking Lexa.

Clarke quickly spun back in her chair, set her drink down on the glass surface of the bar, and grabbed ahold of Raven's hand that held her fresh drink.

"Lexa's fucking here. She's coming this way," Clarke bit out.

Raven promptly wiggle her hand out of Clarke's grasp and began craning her neck upwards in search for the brunette, even though she had no clue what she looked like,"Where? I want to see the fine piece of ass that's caught your attention."

"Would you stop looking," Clarke yelped as she turned Raven's head from Lexa's direction,"And she hasn't caught my attention. She's just an asshole that I can't stand."

"You literally talked to her for five minutes," Raven snorted, still trying to look over her shoulder for the mysterious woman.

Clarke went to make a snappy comeback before she felt someone settle into the empty seat beside her and the smooth, commanding voice flow from them towards the bartender.

"Whiskey. Neat."

And Clarke wanted to snort. She knew that voice. Even after only hearing it for five minutes. And leave it to Lexa to be old fashioned and drink _whiskey_ at a club. Clarke's back was ridged as she tired to subtly turn her body away from Lexa, trying not to draw attention to herself. She caught Raven's eyes and watched her mouth 'Is that her?' as she nodded her head towards the brunette. Clarke just widened her eyes a bit and shook her head as if to tell her 'not right now'.

After the bartender had set her drink down in front of her Clarke was sure that Lexa was going to take her leave, disappear in the crowd and away from Clarke. Obviously, fate had other plans.

"You know I'm not the least bit surprised that I ran into you here," Lexa's smoothed voice flowed into her ear.

Clarke's head whipped around, her brain long forgotten that she was trying to keep her distance from the brunette,"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you seem like the typical blonde who likes to party. Comes out with friends, drinks her weight in alcohol, and passes out drunk in bed only to wake up with a killer hang over the next day," Lexa explained.

Typical blonde? Oh, she'll show her _typical_.

But before she could respond beside her, Raven snorted. Almost losing her drink through her nose in the process. Lexa smirked and Clarke glared at the Latina. The blonde's cheeks flushed. Raven had snorted because she knew Lexa was right. Time and time again had that exact same scenario played out for Clarke during a night out with friends…not that she would admit that to Lexa. Well, now she didn't have to because Raven all but confirmed it for her.

"Even your friend knows I'm right," Lexa smirked into her glass of whiskey.

Clarke's nostrils flared as Raven stood from her seat and moved over to the empty chair beside Lexa. The Latina sat down and offered her hand to the brunette who promptly accepted it.

"Raven Reyes. I'm the best friend. I've heard a bit about you through this one's whining, but you don't seem as bad as she lets on."

"Lexa Woods," The brunette replies simply,"What exactly has she said about me?"

"Oh, just a few things here and there. Nothing important. Although…," Raven trailed off as her eyes darted over to Clarke and the blonde's own blue orbs widened in horror,"I did mention that I felt a bit of sexual tension whenever she said your name. Maybe there's something you can do to help that."

And just like that, Raven was gone. Disappearing into the crowd and leaving her there with the rude ass that had insulted her brain. When she found Raven she was going to use every bit of her medial expertise to make sure she suffered a slow death.

"Well she's…something," Lexa drawled out as she finished the rest of her whiskey.

Clarke only rolled her eyes, downed the rest of her drink, and stood from her chair. The blonde silently prayed that the brunette wouldn't follow her as she made her way towards the bathroom. As she entered the lady's room Clarke found it surprisingly empty. She honestly didn't know why she was in here. She didn't need to use the bathroom. But she didn't feel like facing Lexa just yet. So she strut over to the sink and washed her hands, fixed her hair, and just tried to find anything to do other than go back out and see green eyes staring into her's.

A soft click had Clarke's eyes darting up and into the mirror. Lexa leaned heavily against the door, hands in her pockets, and locked clicked into place. No one would be coming in. Clarke had to swallow past a lump in her throat at the thought.

"What do you want, Lexa? Why are you here?"

Lexa didn't answer. Instead, she calmly pushed away from the door and made her way towards the blonde. Clarke was a deer caught in the headlights. No where to go as she was backed against the bathroom counter. She almost let out a yelp as her ass came into contact with the smooth marble, her hands gripping the edge to steady her suddenly shaking knees. Lexa was now in her personal space, breathing the same air as her, eyes flickering down to pink lips.

"You're friend did say something about sexual tension. Maybe she's right. Maybe there's something I can do to help you," Lexa said dangerously low.

A jolt ran down to Clarke's core. The huskiness of Lexa's voice. The alcohol burning through her bloodstream. Or the fact that they were in the bathroom of a club, only a lock and five inches of wood separating them from someone walking in on them. It had to have been one of those things that had her throwing herself onto Lexa.

They became a tangled mess. Lips clashing, teeth nipping, and tongues battling. Hands snuck under clothes, smoothed across heated skin and deliciously tightened their hold on hips. Clarke's lips broke away from Lexa's as she was hauled up onto the counter. Her head tipped back and she raked her nails down the fabric of Lexa's shirt as the brunette trailed fiery kisses down the column of her throat. Clarke moaned out, her back arching as warm hands pushed under her dress, her bra, and cupped full breasts.

"Fuck, Clarke," Lexa moaned out as she kneaded the soft mounds.

Clarke's breath raged faster in her chest at the sensations. Her brain couldn't -didn't- want to process what she was about to do with this woman. A woman who she had only met some few hours ago. A woman who she felt a sort of hatred for, yet also a bit of warmth for. A warmth she couldn't yet explain. But right now, none of that seemed to matter.

And just as Clarke's hands were about to reach down and tug the hem of her dress up and over her head, a loud bag sounded from the door. Both women jumped but didn't move too far away from each other.

"Open the damn door! Some people have to pee too ya know!" A slurred voice sounded from outside.

Clarke only had enough time to roll her eyes before her face was being turned back to Lexa and her lips were devouring her's again. After a few seconds of just kissing and nipping, tasting, did they break apart. Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke's and tried to control her ragged breathing.

"How about we get out of here?" Lexa suggested.

"You're place or mine?"

"Mine's closer," Lexa joked.

"Mine's probably cleaner," Clarke rasped.

And suddenly Clarke was being lifted, hands of steel gripping her thighs and helping them wrap around strong hips. Her arms linked around a delicate neck as Lexa carried her across the bathroom before slamming her into the door. Clarke gasped as the brunette's hips rolled into her's, her head falling back with a low thump against the door.

"You're place it is then."

Clarke felt like whining as Lexa let her slide back down to the floor, helping fix her dress as soon as her feet touch the ground. Once fixed and presentable Lexa unlocked the door and pushed Clarke hastily through it, barely missing the drunk female that waited at the door who barely paid them any mind before rushing inside. Both women quickly paid their tabs, Clarke ordering a quick shot and throwing it back as she waited for Lexa. She tried to look for Raven so she could give her the signal that she was leaving but she couldn't seem to find the Latina anywhere. But all her thoughts of her friend disappeared as she felt someone at her back, hands slinking around her hips and warm breath against her ear.

"Let's get out of here," Lexa smooth voice commanded as she pushed her forward.

Clarke couldn't really remember how she ended up outside the club or how she ended up in Lexa's car, the brunette still perfectly fine to drive after barely having one drink. All that seemed to swirl around her mind was Lexa. The feeling of Lexa's lips against her's. On her skin. Hands kneading her breasts helplessly. Her tongue against her skin. She shivered as she imagined it in _other_ places. And still, she couldn't fathom why she so badly wanted Lexa. She was supposed to hate her. She had insulted her for crying out loud. But yet her body still called to her. Begged to pull her closer and just feel her body against her's. She wanted her. And there was no stopping it. Not now.

The ride back was shorter than Clarke remember. Maybe it was the alcohol or just the pure lust coursing through her veins. Whichever it was she was grateful. Because it lead to her being pushed up against the corridor wall just that much faster. As Lexa switched them around, kept pinning Clarke against the wall again and again, the blonde tried to find her keys. When she finally found them she almost dropped them when Lexa nipped particularly hard on her pulse point causing Clarke to moan out as she felt wetness pool between her thighs.

She physically had to push Lexa away so she could unlock her door, but even then Lexa was pushing her against the door. Pulling Clarke's ass to grind against her hips and running her lips down her clothed spine. And when she finally got the door open the brunette didn't hesitate to push her inside, quickly finding the couch and throwing her down onto it, pinning her there.

"Don't move. I'll be right back."

And Lexa was gone. Out the door and leaving Clarke a breathless mess on her couch. She waited what felt like hours before she finally pushed herself up from the leather surface, figuring that Lexa wasn't coming back. As she rounded the couch her door opened to reveal Lexa once again. Green met blue and they locked together.

"Didn't I tell you not to move?" Lexa asked as she stalked towards the blonde.

Clarke's center throbbed with need at the commanding tone. She wasn't normally one for plays of dominance but something about letting Lexa dominate her had dripping. Too lost in her thoughts she failed to notice when the brunette finally reached her. Hands suddenly gripped her hips and turned her around to lean over the back of her couch, ass out and back arching. And she suddenly found why Lexa disappeared those few minutes as the woman pressed her hips into her's and the feeling of a firm length was pressed into her ass.

Clarke moaned for all that she was worth when she realized just what Lexa had planned for her. What she planned to use on her. The blonde's walls clenched around nothing at the anticipation and she almost begged for Lexa to hurry up.

"Answer me, Clarke. Didn't I tell you not to move?" Lexa asked again her hips jogging forward slightly.

"Yes," Clarke husked out.

And just when Clarke thought she was going to have to beg for it, have to be punished for moving, she felt Lexa's hands push her dress up and grab ahold of the side of her panties. Her shrill gasp rang around her apartment as the brunette ripped the fabric from her skin and let it fall to the floor in tattered pieces. She squirmed as the cool air met her dripping center and she mewled at the feeling. She wiggled her hips a bit as she listened to Lexa pop the button on her jeans and push them down to her knees to reveal the harness strapped around her person. The strap-on bounced slightly as it sprung from it's confides and Clarke gasped as it moved against her skin.

"You're lucky I'm feeling generous tonight. Any other time and it would be different," Lexa ground out as she ran the rubber shaft along Clarke's center,"Are you ready?"

Clarke could only reply with a breathless nod. This wasn't by far what she expected but she wasn't complaining. The alcohol burned through her body and made her do crazy things. She was sure had she not downed that last shot that she would be sending Lexa back to her own apartment. But right now, she was glad she took that shot.

A low moan, her back arching, hands trying to grip the leather couch beneath her as Lexa pushed forward. Sinking deliciously into her. And as Lexa bottomed out neither one could stop the moans that escaped them. She was glad that the woman stilled for a few moments and let her adjust to the length before pulling out and quickly pushing forward once more. As she began to pick up her pace, Clarke skin tingled.

It burned with need and desire and had her absolutely melting against the couch. Her body jerked forward with every one of Lexa's thrusts and she couldn't stop her head from turning so she could peer over her shoulder at the woman. In the midst of everything, Lexa had removed her shirt, leaving her clad only in a sports bra and her jeans still around her knees, slowly falling her ankles. Her eyes drifted down to Lexa's abs as they clenched with every thrust and they suddenly spurred another moan from Clarke. Then Lexa's eyes found her's and everything changed.

Lexa quickly pulled away, spun her around and lifted her up. With some fumbling and almost tripping the brunette had removed herself from her pants and was quickly moving them towards god knows where. The only thing Clarke was worried about at the moment was having Lexa back inside her and thrusting. Her body tensed in pleasure as her back hit a wall and Lexa was pinning her hips there, lining back up at her entrance and slipping inside without hesitation, pulling her dress up and over her head in the rush, leaving her completely bare.

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck and let her head fall back as the brunette pounded away inside her. She was sure she could hear the pictures on her wall rattle with each thrust but she didn't care. Didn't care if one fell and sprayed glass all over the floor below their feet. All that mattered was Lexa and her release. Swift thrust after swift thrust had Clarke moaning loudly.

"Bed? Where's you're bedroom, Clarke?" Lexa asked breathlessly.

"Hallway. First door. On the left," Clarke said between moans.

And this time, as Lexa moved them down the hallway, she stayed seated inside Clarke. Velvet walls clenched desperately around the shaft, wishing that Lexa would hurry up so she could _move_. They moved fast but not fast enough. And Clarke couldn't stop herself from lifting up slightly and sinking back down onto the shaft. Lexa halted, pushing her back against the nearest wall and stilling her hips before jogging her own forward with a few hard thrusts.

"Stay still," Lexa commanded.

Clarke keened. Wanting nothing more than to feel Lexa move. _Now_. But she stopped. The sooner they got to her room the sooner Lexa could pound away inside her. Help coax her to that amazing release that she was teetering on the edge of. She needed it. Craved it.

Finally, _finally_ they fell back against her bed, still joined, and Lexa didn't even stop to warn her before driving her hips back and forward once more. Clarke cried out at the sudden movement and held onto Lexa as she slammed forward again and again and again. She was finally getting what she wanted but it was becoming too much. She could feel herself loosing control. Slipping towards the stars and that white hot fire that felt so good as it consumed her being.

She tried to protest when Lexa pulled completely out, only to moan deeply when she was flipped over and her hips were raised into the air and she was being filled again. The stretch and the angle had Clarke searching for something to hold onto. To ground her as Lexa's hips lunged forward with abandonment, but still gentle all the same. Hands clung to her hips, helping her drive them back to meet each one of Lexa' thrusts. And Lexa angled her hips just right, hitting that spot inside Clarke over and over and over again.

"Yes, Lexa. Right there. _Please_ , don't stop," Clarke whined out as she drove her hips back as much as she could with Lexa's help.

Once more, she was turning to peak over her shoulder. Once more, blue met green. And suddenly Clarke was soaring. That white hot fire filling her vision and sending her spiraling as wave after wave rushed through her being. Her moans filled the room, along with Lexa's as she felt the woman's hips falter and she was sure the brunette was coming just as hard as she was. The woman's weight settled gently over her back, still seated deep within her, and warm breathe ghosted over her bare back.

Clarke's vision grew hazy. Her buzz and climax mixing together and making her body slump forward with exhaustion. She felt lips brush against her shoulder before she felt Lexa's weight lift off her and the shaft inside her slip out. A low groan slipped from her throat at the feeling, but she was much too tired to voice her complaints. Her eyes fluttered, dangerously close to falling shut and letting her drift off into the wonderful world of dreams. She hadn't expected tonight to end like this. In bed with a woman that she just met and couldn't stand, but she couldn't bring herself to regret it. Couldn't bring herself to admit that, if given the chance, she wouldn't change anything that happened tonight.

Finally her dark lashes fluttered once more before falling shut completely. And just before her mind was flung off the edge of unconsciousness she felt a light brush against her forehead and a blanket cover her naked form.

"Good night, Clarke," Lexa whispered before she was lost to the world.


	2. One Hell Of A Job

A light groan flittered from the bed, a mess of blonde hair turning over before falling back against the plush pillow. Blue eyes peaked out from cracked lids, being careful of the bright sunlight that spilled through the curtains. Clarke stared at the ceiling trying to figure out what had woken her up. A movement to her right caught her peripheral vision making her whip her head in its direction.

A bare back, one etched with an intricate tattoo, sat at the edge of her bed. Her heart jumped, her brain momentarily lapsing at who she thought was a stranger…until her eyes darted up and met brunette waves. Now, she wished it was a stranger. She slowly sat up in bed and watched as Lexa rose her hips off the bed slightly to pull her jeans from the night before onto her body. Clarke couldn't stop her jaw from falling open as Lexa pulled a shirt over her head, the muscles of her back moving and clenching as she moved, faint red lines appearing across her skin. Flashes of the night before ran through her mind.

Her nails raking across tan skin. Something that she had been too gone to notice. Too overcome with pleasure. Lexa's hips thrusting quickly. Sweat coating their bodies as they made their way from the couch to her wall and finally, the bed. The images were so clear, so detailed as she remembered them, that her body was being to become overrun by the same sensations as the night before.

"Are you just going to keep staring or are you going to say something?"

Clarke blanched, her eyes darting to the back of Lexa's head. The woman hadn't even turned around as far as she knew. How the hell did she know she was staring?

"What time is it?" The blonde asked lamely.

She visibly flinched at the answer. Her mind couldn't form the right response to her question so she asked the first thing that came to mind. What were you supposed to say to someone, that you clearly had a dislike for, after you wake up in bed together? Naked.

Lexa sighed, pushing herself up from the bed before reaching over to Clarke's bedside table and grabbing her phone,"Its time for me to leave. I shouldn't have even stayed here. It was a mistake."

Clarke reeled back as if struck.

"A mistake? How was any of last night a mistake?"

"Look, I don't sleep with -," Lexa cut herself off, jaw clenching as she snapped it shut.

"What? Sleep with a person _you_ clearly made the first move on?" Clarke asked, clutching her sheet tighter to her bare chest.

She could see Lexa struggle to find words for a moment.

"We were both drinking last night, Clarke. You and I both know how that typically goes."

Clarke bolted out the bed, dragging the sheet along with her, as Lexa made her way out the bedroom towards the front door.

"You know damn well it wasn't the alcohol. I had a few drinks and was probably a little buzzed but you… _you_ had one little glass of whiskey. You don't get to blame this on us being drunk."

Lexa whipped around, eyes blazing,"Then let's not blame it on the alcohol. In fact, let's not blame it on anything. As far as anyone else is concerned this never happened. How about we just forget about this and just move on."

Clarke's heart jumped painfully, both with hurt and anger. She wasn't so sure why Lexa asking just to pretend like last night never happened made her feel this way. She'd had her fair share of one night stands and she had never felt this way about them. Maybe it was the way Lexa simply tried to label it as a mistake. Or maybe it was the fact that Clarke didn't want to forget about it.

"So you just want to forget everything that happened yesterday? Like we never even met?" Clarke growled, Lexa nodding her head stiffly in reply,"I know I wasn't the only one to feel something… _different_ last night, Lexa. There was something there that I've never felt before with someone and I know you had to feel it to. No one does… _that_ , makes someone feel that way, and wants to forget about it."

Lexa pursed her lips, eyes shifting over to the exit before turning back to the blonde,"I don't know what you felt but clearly I didn't feel it. Last night was a mistake and that's all I'm going to say on the matter."

Clarke's jaw became slack, not believing the words that came from the brunette. Her head was pounding from the slight hangover and the conversation they were holding. She couldn't begin to understand what was running through Lexa's own mind at the moment. Something had to have happened for the brunette to want to be so detached from anything resembling a relationship…or at least a one night stand.

But that didn't stop the rage from over taking Clarke.

"Fine, you want to forget?" Clarke stormed over to her door and yanked it open after unlocking it,"Leave. I don't know you so I don't know why you're in my apartment."

Lexa's eyes widened for a moment, caught off guard by Clarke's action, before steeling herself and walking out the door. Clarke watched her stand in the middle of the hallway for a second before turning around as if checking to see if Clarke was still standing there. She noticed her hands balled into fists at her sides, knuckles white with the force of the grip…almost as white as when she had gripped her hips last night. A thought suddenly popped into her head. The blonde held up a finger, signaling for Lexa to wait a moment.

Leaving the door open, Clarke rushed to her bedroom searching for the object that had popped into her mind. After a few seconds of searching she finally found it resting on the floor at the foot of her bed. Grabbing it, Clarke strode back to her front door. Lexa still stood in the hallway, arms folded over her chest and looking down the corridor as she waited for the blonde.

Clarke came to a stop at the door and threw the object harshly at the brunette before she was able to realize that she had returned.

* * *

 **Shift In POV (Lexa)**

After Clarke disappeared back into her apartment Lexa couldn't stop herself from eyeing the hallway for any signs of threats. Force of habit after the last few years of work that she's done. She contemplated going inside her apartment and leaving Clarke to simmer in her anger alone, but she knew it would only make her even irritated. An older man coming up the stairs a little ways down the hallway caught her attention and she studied him like she would anybody else.

She was too caught up watching him disappear up the next flight of stairs to realize that Clarke had reappeared back in the doorway. Something solid hit her chest, leaving her just the slightest bit winded, and she fumbled to catch it before it could fall to the floor.

"I believe that belongs to you. Next time, don't leave your things in my apartment. Oh, never mind, there won't be a next time," Clarke growled.

Lexa was able to stop herself from jumping as the door in front of her slammed closed. She knew the force rattled some of the picture frames hanging on the blonde's walls and was surprised not to hear at least one of them crash to the ground. Lexa sighed deeply as she tried to calm her racing mind.

She wasn't sure what had come over her last night. Be it the small bit of whiskey, the blue eyes, the luscious curves that were perfectly hugged by blue fabric, soft kissable lips—.

 ** _"Stop it, Woods. You're supposed to be keeping an eye on her not getting into her pants,"_** Lexa thought bitterly, as she looked down at the object in her hands.

She almost laughed as she grasped the leather straps to strap on. The last place she thought she would end up this morning was out in the hallway with a strap on in her hands. Then again, she didn't expect to fall asleep in Clarke's bed either. Hell, she didn't expect to get anywhere near the woman's bed unless she was in danger. Lexa had a strict rule against sleeping with clients, whether they were the one that hired her or not. It was a big 'no' in her books.

 ** _"But that didn't stop you from walking into that bathroom last night, did it?"_**

Lexa huffed and let her hands fall to her sides, the toy dangling in her left hand. Her eyes scanned the hallway once more before fishing her keys from her pocket and unlocking her door. She took one more glance over her shoulder at Clarke's door before pushing all the way inside and quietly shutting the door. Inside, she reached over and flipped the light switch, filling the apartment with light and making her squint her eyes a bit so they could adjust.

She sat the toy down on the back of her couch as she moved to walk down the hallway. Three doors lined the hallway, two on the left and one of the right. She pushed open the last one on left and flipped the light switch. The room was plain besides a simple desk, a computer sitting neatly on top, a rolling chair, and a large pin board covering almost the entire right wall.

Rubbing her hands over her face, Lexa made her way over to the desk and started the computer. It only took a few seconds for the screen to blink to life, waiting for her to enter a password. She plopped down into the leather chair as she absentmindedly keyed in the password. A simple white screen greeted her as she was granted access. The brunette clicked on a single folder located in the upper left corner, entering in yet another password so she could access it.

The screen automatically filled with a video feed.

A live video feed.

Featuring the woman who left her standing in the hallway…with a strap on in her hand.

 _Clarke._

Lexa sighed as she leaned back into her chair. This was the one thing that made her uncomfortable about this job. About keeping an eye on Clarke. Her parents had forced the camera into her job description no matter how much she insisted she didn't need it. It made her feel like a complete creep knowing that every second of Clarke's day was being saved onto her computer. And being paid to watch her from it made her skin crawl even more with unease.

The camera that Clarke's father had secretly installed right before she moved in gave her the perfect view of the blonde's open floor plan. Even gave her a good view down the hall to her bedroom door. She had been more than relieved when her parents only forced the one camera. If one had been in Clarke's bedroom she would have more than likely declined. That was too much…even if she's already slept with the woman.

Currently, Clarke mingled around her kitchen, still wrapped in the sheet, as she made coffee. Lexa had to stop herself more than once as her eyes began to travel the path of Clarke's body. Eyes on the windows. Eyes on any entrances into the apartment. She repeated this as a mantra in her head and it was beginning to work…until the blonde decided she was done holding the only thing covering her body.

Her body tingled, jade eyes scrapping down exposed skin, sharply hips, soft thighs. Lexa could almost remember the feel of them wrapped around her hips, tightening every time she pushed forward. How smooth the skin of her neck was under her lips. The way she mewled out into the room.

 ** _"Dammit. You're not supposed to do this. No connections. No feelings. In and out. Done. Don't get attached,"_** Lexa chided herself mentally.

She couldn't get her mind to comprehend just what had come over her last night and lead her into one hell of a sweaty night with a woman who hated her guts. She scoffed a bit as she remembered her shitty excuse of being drunk. That got her nothing but an angrier Clarke. She clearly hadn't thought about Clarke remembering just how many drinks she had and calling her out on it. Or perhaps it was the only excuse that she could come up with fast enough because she wasn't about to tell the blonde her real reason of not wanting to get involved with her.

Lexa sighed for what felt like the millionth time that morning. Brain muddled and tired, eyes still unconsciously keeping watch over Clarke's apartment, Lexa wondered just why she accepted the job in the first place.

* * *

 ** _Two weeks ago…_**

 _Lexa sat casually in one of the leather chairs in the lobby. A large receptionist desk sat to her right, the worker behind it typing away at her computer. Slender fingers pulled her phone from her pocket to take a look at the time._

 _12:47 p.m._

 _Her employer was late. No call or email._

 _Surely she had the right time and place. She strived for perfection, no excuses._

 _As the clock on her screen changed to one o'clock Lexa was preparing herself to leave before a man and a woman, both old enough to be her parents, approached her._

 _"Ms. Woods, I'm so sorry we're late. Work isn't all that easy to get out of when things run a little late. I'm sorry if it's caused you any inconveniences and I understand if you're required to be some place else at the moment," The man said apologetically._

 _Lexa had fully stood from her seat while he talked so now she hovered in front of him,"It's quite alright, Mr. Griffin. I know working for the military and then your wife being head surgeon sometimes calls for a few delays in your schedule."_

 _"Please, call me Jake. And this is Abby."_

 _The couple quickly shook hands with her before Jake gestured for them to begin walking towards one of the smaller conference rooms that he had booked for them to use. The air around them was silent as they stepped into the room. A man that had been standing outside the door followed them inside, closing the door behind them, and took post in front of it._

 _"Take a seat and we can begin. Since we're running late we'll keep this as short as possible," Jake produced a small picture from his pocket and slid it across the table in front of her,"This is my daughter, Clarke. I want you to keep and eye on her. Watch over her but without her knowing."_

 _Lexa slowly picked up the glossy photo and let her eyes scan over the image. A blonde with a dazzling smile, pearly white teeth peeking out from behind pink lips, stared back at her. Her heart thumped hardly in her chest as she locked onto the ocean depths that laid in her eyes. This was easily the most gorgeous woman that she had seen. And she was pretty sure the picture didn't do any justice to seeing her in person._

 _But she still had questions. It wasn't like she would just accept the job because the woman was pretty._

 _Well…more than pretty._

 _"May I ask why? Is there someone after her? Is she in danger? Or is this just extra protection?" Lexa asked cautiously as she sat the picture back down._

 _Abby cleared her throat before speaking for the first time since they met,"My husband's job had come with a few…undesired issues. We both thought it would be best if our daughter had a little more protection until they can be solved."_

 _"And these issues are…?"_

 _"Classified. If it becomes dire for you to fully know about these issues to keep Clarke safe then we will tell you. But for now it is to stay between me, my wife, and the U.S Military," Jake said seriously._

 _Lexa nodded slowly,"Okay. My next question…why secretly? Why not post me as her bodyguard like most do?"_

 _Jake chuckled deeply,"When you meet Clarke you'll begin to understand. She's head strong and stubborn. Like her mother here. And she doesn't take to kindly to people thinking that she can't handle herself. So therefore, keeping your position a secret from her will save you a lot more trouble in the long run. Trust me."_

 _Lexa restrained herself from cocking an eyebrow as if to say 'are you serious'. Judging by her picture, Clarke didn't look like someone who caused a lot of trouble for someone. Then again, her mother once told her not to judge a book by its cover…and there was also a little glimmer of_ ** _something_** _in Clarke's eyes. Something she couldn't quite place. This was either going to be very interesting or a waste of her time._

 _"So I'm just to keep an eye on her from a distance? Or would you prefer if I became a sort of acquaintance of her's?"_

 _She wasn't really sure if 'friend' was the right word to use in this situation._

 _"Becoming friends with her wouldn't hurt," Abby chimed in,"Clarke is an open heart. She's accepting of everyone and will be easy to make friends with. It will also help to keep you closer to her. The closer the better. We've also began renting out the apartment across from her. If you are to accept the job then you will be moved into it. A sort of ruse if you will. It will also make it easier so that if someone were to break into her apartment you're right there across the hall."_

 _Jake nodded along with his wife, backing up her information and ideas. She looked between the two for a moment before letting her eyes drift down to the photo resting in front of her. Pale skin and blonde hair filled her vision as she contemplated the offer in her head._

 _Breathing deeply Lexa surveyed the couple ahead of her,"I will need a bit more information from you both, but I have no qualms about accepting the job."_

 _Jake and Abby both smiled happily, obviously happy with her choice._

 _"Of course. Whatever information you need we will get. If there is anything else you require for the job let us know and we will provide it for you,"Jake said happily,"Oh, and there is one more thing. There will be a camera installed into Clarke's apartment, that way you are able to monitor what occurs inside. Call it a helping hand in keeping her safe. You'll be able to see any and every person who walks into that apartment as well as being able to watch over her while she's at home. The camera will offer a live feed as well as store all recordings into the computer we will provide you with as well as a highly secured program that we will have installed on your phone. The folder and program will have a password that, besides my wife and myself, only you will know."_

 _"With all due respect, Jake, I don't find a camera necessary. I will be able to keep Clarke safe without it."_

 _"It is something that is nonnegotiable for Abby and I. If something were to happen or someone was to break in while Clarke was gone or, god forbid, still home we want it to be able to find out what happened and who caused it."_

 _Obviously Clarke's parents weren't too worried about what the camera might record their daughter doing. Whether it be lazing around naked, dancing around like a fool, or…entertaining company._

 _"Of course. I understand then," Lexa nodded respectfully._

 _Jake took a look at the watch on his wrist before glancing back up at Lexa,"I think that's all we will be able to discuss today, Lexa. I will have my assistant pull up the necessary paperwork and have it sent to you to review and sign. If you have any issues with it you can contact me through my assistant. You may also contact her with a list of the things you will be needing."_

 _"Yes, sir. I will be sure to have that ready as soon as possible."_

 _Abby and Jake both rose from their chairs, Lexa following closely behind and rounding the table. Jake held out his hand and the brunette grasped it firmly._

 _"Thank you, Lexa. I have no doubt with your reputation that you will be able to protect our daughter from anything. With all the paperwork and preparing everything else we should be able to get you settled into the apartment in about two weeks. Until then I'll get you all the information you'll need on Clarke so you can brush up on that. She's quite the character," Jake winked._

 _Lexa let a small controlled smile play over her lips as she released his hand. Abby held her own hand out and she quickly shook it before letting her hand fall back at her side._

 _"We'll be back in contact with you in a few days and will schedule another meeting with you before you get into the apartment. We'll go over your contract and payment for the job," Jake commented as the couple made their way towards the door,"I hope the rest of your day is wonderful, Lexa. We'll be in touch."_

 _And with a wave of his hand they were gone, the man standing at the door disappearing with them. Lexa's shoulder's slumped and she sighed deeply as she let her professional mask fall away. She knew this was going to be a long job and was ready to just let her mind and body rest for the few days that she had on her own before starting._

 _As her eyes swept across the empty room Lexa caught sight of Clarke's picture still laying on the wooden table._

 _"Damn. He forgot it," Lexa mumbled to herself as she picked up the picture._

 _Her thumb rubbed along the corner of the picture as she held it and stared. That glimmer from earlier reappearing in those blue eyes and pulling her in._

 _This was definitely going to be an interesting job._

* * *

She'd learned everything she needed to about the blonde after that. From her class schedule right down to the tiny corner cafe that she frequented every Tuesday morning. And it had taken her a while to learn the list of names of her closets friends. Though she wouldn't admit to anyone that she was a little surprised by the number of them when she pulled out the document. After a few more days of reviewing the information and her contract Jake's assistant had contacted her to set another meeting.

Lexa had finally been able to part with Clarke's picture during the meeting when she returned it to the older man. She was relieved to see it go, having spent more than one time finding herself staring at it as she studied Clarke's life. But another part of her was also sad to see it go…though she wouldn't admit it to herself or anyone else for that matter.

The second meeting had been short and to the point much like the first one. A few issues were worked out with her contract and they reviewed the necessary list of supplies she would need for the job. It was only a week later that she found herself carrying her boxes up into the apartment across from Clarke's. She knew that Clarke normally went to a study group around the time that she began moving in so she was quick to try and get everything into the apartment before the blonde arrived back home. Her father had stressed more than once about how nosy Clarke could be when she got curious about something.

And the last this she needed was Clarke finding the box filled with all of her own personal information.

And maybe a registered gun.

The last thing she had been expecting though was for said blonde to come waltzing in and literally running right into her. And it didn't help that she let her mouth run, filled with anger, as she yelled at her. Even though she didn't know it was her at first. But after meeting those crystal blue eyes she knew that she was right when she thought the picture did her no justice. But her beauty didn't help get Clarke back on her good side. It didn't stop them from basically having a screaming match in the hallway or stop Lexa from teasing the girl. She might as well have some fun with it.

As her eyes were still trained on the computer as she thought, her pupils almost blew out as Clarke stretched and strut her way across her apartment. Still naked as the day she was born. All the thoughts of the previous two weeks vanished as she watched pale skin disappear into the bedroom. She could feel the dull ache between her thighs flare up as she once again remembered what Clarke's skin felt like against her's. Could almost hear the moans reverberating through her ears as they had last night.

Lexa slouched down into her chair, hands covering her face as she groaned.

 _This was going to be one hell of a job._


	3. Something's Starting

_Two days._

Two days since Clarke ran into Lexa.

Two days since she'd brought her back to her apartment and had one of the best orgasms of her life. Not that she would admit that to the brunette.

Clarke, thankfully, hadn't seen Lexa since slamming the door in her face and leaving her in the hallway with a strap-on. She'd heard the telltale sound of her apartment door opening and closing, but other than that the brunette was seemingly nonexistent. And the fact that Clarke constantly checked the hallways before turning a corner helped her avoid Lexa even further.

But still…there was that feeling in the pit of her stomach. The one that she felt when Lexa's lips glided across her own. The spark that sent tingles down her spine as Lexa brought her to oblivion. There was something about that feeling. Something she couldn't shake. Despite how much she didn't want to see Lexa, her body betrayed her, calling for the brunette.

Clarke huffed and trudged further down the sidewalk, pulling her raincoat closer to her body to keep the drizzle from soaking her clothes. Her morning class had finally run on time for once and she thanked the gods for her teacher arriving on time today. She had just enough time to grab a quick lunch and relax a little before heading to her last class of the day.

Her eyes sparkled happily as she eyed the little corner cafe, The Ark, that had become her favorite place in the city. It was the perfect walking distance from her apartment and the school campus. And they served the best breakfast panini she had ever tasted. She had stumbled upon the cafe during her first semester of med school and it had become a god-send. All the workers knew her by name and always had her regular Tuesday order waiting for her at the counter.

The little bell above the door jingled, signaling her entrance to the quaint shop. An onyx haired woman stood behind the counter, handing a gentleman his coffee, and her eyes locked onto Clarke the second she walked in.

"Clarke! How's it going?"

The man brushed past Clarke as she made her way towards the counter and the hairs on the back of her neck rose. She watched him walk out the door for a second before turning back to the barista with a wide grin.

"It's going good, Maya. My morning class finally ran on time today and I have enough time to enjoy my lunch here instead of the gross cafeteria," Clarke commented as she removed her dripping jacket.

"So the usual then?"

Clarke nodded even though Maya already began moving around preparing her order. She waited patiently at the counter for her drink and food taking a quick look around the shop to see that it was empty save for herself and Maya. She eyed the little table nestled in the back corner by the large window and was glad that no one occupied her usual table.

Today was turning out to be a good day, well except for the rain.

"Here you go," Maya said as she placed a tray with Clarke's food on the counter,"Breakfast panini and coffee with sugar and cream."

Clarke handed over her money, telling Maya to keep the change. Eyes on her food and stomach rumbling, she paid no mind to the bell above the cafe door sounding at the entrance of another customer. She barely registered the sound of Maya greeting the customer as she picked up her tray and spun around to head to her table.

"Clarke, look out!"

Maya's words registered in her head too late. As she spun around her tray bumped into the chest of the person that she didn't realize had walked up behind her. She stumbled back a bit, her cup tipping over and painting the front of her white shirt with steaming coffee. Hands shot out and grabbed onto her elbows to steady her before she could tumble backwards any further.

 _Those hands._

They felt all too familiar and Clarke was silently cursing herself as she forced her eyes upwards.

Lexa's face, shocked and with a hint of amusement, filled her vision.

"Seriously?" Clarke huffed,"Now, my good day has just been ruined."

The brunette gave her a deadpanned expression,"Not my fault you weren't watching where you were going. _Again_."

"You little—," Clarke stopped herself, taking in deep breathes to try and calm her hastily rising anger,"You know what? Never mind. I'm just going to pretend like you aren't here. But after you pay for my drink."

Lexa snorted and moved around Clarke so she could lean against the counter,"Why would I pay for a drink that _you_ spilled?"

Clarke could see Maya watching them with interest as she slowly wiped down the counter, trying to make it seem like she was just working. She rolled her eyes when she realized that the woman would want full details on just _who_ she was arguing with and _why_.

"Because, if you wouldn't have been standing so close behind me then I wouldn't have bumped into you and spilled my coffee!" Clarke said as she pointed to her ruined shirt.

She could see Lexa's eyes scrap down the front of her chest, eyes darkening as they lingered on her chest. Lexa looked over her shoulder as the entrance bell jingled once more and Clarke peeked around her shoulder to see a few frat boys make their way inside. The blonde watched as Lexa's jaw clenched before she turned back around and moved closer to her.

"Come with me," Lexa said as she pulled the tray from Clarke's hands and sat it on the counter.

Clarke stuttered as the older woman began pulling her towards the back of the cafe,"Where the hell are you taking me? What about my food?"

"You've got bigger problems than your food, Clarke."

"What are you talking about? What is more important than me getting food in my stomach so I have enough energy to last me the rest of the day?" Clarke asked as Lexa pulled a door open and began pushing her inside.

It took a few seconds for her to realize that Lexa had moved them into the bathroom. The door fell shut behind them and she felt that she might suffocate in the small space filled with only her and Lexa.

"This is your bigger problem," Lexa bit out as she spun her around to face the mirror above the sink.

Her reflection stared back at her. Blonde hair pulled up in a messy bun, blue eyes shimmering in the florescent lighting, Lexa's hands still on her shoulders, and…

 _Oh._

Her white shirt clung to her like a second skin, completely soaked in coffee. Her black bra, once only slightly visible, was now on full display for everyone to see. Her cheeks burned as she met Lexa's eyes in the mirror and realized that she had been giving the woman a show that she probably enjoyed more than she was willing to admit. They stayed locked in a gaze for a little longer than normal, only breaking apart as Lexa cleared her throat awkwardly.

"Here. Take this."

Clarke turned around and watched as Lexa shrugged out of her jacket before pulling her black t-shirt above her head. Blue eyes tore away from the brunette despite the fact that she still wore a dark cami underneath the t-shirt.

 ** _"_** ** _Holy shit. I can see the outline of her abs. No! Bad Clarke. You're supposed to be angry with her!"_** Clarke mentally scolded herself.

She felt the slightest tap on her arm and peaked carefully over her shoulder to see Lexa holding the shirt out to her,"Hold this. At least let me make sure you aren't burned too bad."

Just the thought of Lexa pulling up her shirt and checking over her skin had her body lighting on fire. It wasn't until then that she noticed the dull burn across her chest and upper abdomen. She hissed a little, pulling gently at her rapidly cooling shirt to try and ease a little of the pain.

Hands reached for the hem of her shirt.

"Up," Lexa commanded as she began lifting the shirt.

Clarke slowly lifted her arms, her mind trying to figure out just how she ended up shedding her clothes in The Ark's bathroom with the one woman that she couldn't stand. She shivered a bit as the ac vent blew a cool waft of air onto her causing goosebumps to break out along her skin. The blonde jumped as she felt fingers prod at the sensitive skin around her chest and looked down to meet Lexa's slightly concerned eyes.

"I'll be fine," Clarke said as she quickly looked over her own chest,"Nothing a few cold compresses won't help."

Figuring she wasn't going to get anything more, Lexa backed away from her. Clarke gazed at her for a moment before tugging the borrowed shirt over her head. She caught a light whiff of the brunette's perfume and tried to subtly breath it in a little deeper. No one would deny that Lexa smelled damn good. Although, Clarke wouldn't admit that to her. Of course not.

"Thank you. For the shirt. You didn't have to," Clarke mumbled.

Lexa slipped her jacket back over her shoulders and zipped it up half way as she chanced a glance at Clarke,"God knows what those frat boys would have said had they seen you like that."

Clarke's eyebrows shot up, blue eyes widening at the words. Was Lexa…jealous? The tone of her voice gave her the feeling that Lexa didn't want _anyone_ seeing her in the position she was just in, let alone some pushy frat boys. A little smirk played over the blonde's lips at the new discovery.

Despite still being upset with Lexa…maybe she could have a little fun with her.

"What? Are you jealous? Of some frat boys?" Clarke responded cooly.

Jade eyes sent a glare her way,"I'm not nor will I ever be jealous, Clarke. There's nothing between us for me to be jealous about."

A barley noticeable huff left Clarke's lungs as she realized she would just have to work a little harder to rile up the woman. She slowly inched her way forward, keeping her eyes locked with Lexa's as she advance forward.

"So you're saying if I stayed in that shirt and they started ogling me, that you wouldn't get all angry and possessive?"

Lexa pretended to think on it a little, her hand rubbing her chin for dramatics,"Possessive? No. Angry? Yes. No woman, or anyone else for that matter, should be ogled like they're a piece of meat without feelings."

Clarke continued to press forward and smirked even more when Lexa's back met the wall of the bathroom,"I seem to remember you doing some ogling two nights ago in the club."

The brunette, although backed against a wall, sized the shorter woman up as she stared down at her with heated eyes,"Ogling and appreciating are two different things, Clarke."

"Appreciating? Is that what they're calling it now?" Clarke whispered as she pushed her body closer into Lexa's.

Clarke wasn't sure what had come over her. This was just supposed to be a little game. Something to rile Lexa's feathers and put her on edge, but it seemed her plan was backfiring on herself. She could feel the growing ache between her legs with each passing second. It was supposed to be a little teasing and then just leaving the brunette high and dry…well maybe not dry. But the only thing she seemed to be doing was making herself hot and bothered.

She inhaled sharply, chewing on her bottom lip breathlessly as she tried to regain her senses.

But that didn't help.

Everything was a blur until suddenly her back was against a wall, Lexa molding her body into her's. Her hands were held tightly above her head restricting her movements and sending another jolt down to her core. Plump lips traced her jaw and stopped just below her ear to nudge at the soft skin.

"I know what you're doing, Clarke. You're just trying to see how far you can push me and then just leave me here wanting," Lexa husked into her ear,"It's not going to work."

Clarke arched her back away from the wall pushing her chest into Lexa's,"Are you sure? Because it looks like I've got you right where I want you."

There was a soft growl in her ear before lips were suddenly claiming her's. The moan that escaped her mouth was nothing but sinful. It reverberated off the walls and echoed around them and threw her body into a sort of frenzy. Clarke tugged at her hands, desperately wanting to feel _something_ under them, but to no avail. Lexa didn't let up her grip as she stole the very breath from Clarke's lungs.

And she left her gasping as she felt warm fingers slid beneath the waistband of her pants. Deft fingers skimmed the lace of her panties lightly pushing at the sensitive bundle of nerves that was hidden within. Clarke's head flew back against the wall as Lexa's fingers pushed against her opening through her underwear, a low moan forming on her lips.

And just as fast as she had her pinned to the wall, Lexa was gone.

Clarke stumbled forward a little bit, surprised by the sudden disappearance of Lexa's body. Her chest heaved as she tried to pull in enough oxygen through swollen lips. Blue eyes locked on a smirking Lexa as she made her way towards the bathroom room door.

"Two can play at your little game, Clarke," Lexa called over her shoulder before slipping out.

The blonde was left breathless and needy against the bathroom wall. Her mouth hung open, her mind trying to figure out just when Lexa had caught on to her little game and turned the tables on her. Her fingers ran across the cotton fabric of the brunette's shirt and couldn't help but sniff lightly at the collar once more. Lexa was beginning to intoxicate her, making her brain a muddled mess and incapable of much thought.

Her original plan, of leaving Lexa high and dry, turned to nothing the second her lips were on her's.

Clarke sighed heavily and let her head drop back against the brick wall with a thud.

 _"_ _Fuck."_

* * *

After making herself as decent as possible Clarke made her way back out into the thankfully empty cafe. Lexa was no where to be seen and that took a little weight off her chest. Maya leaned on the counter near her tray of food with a curious smirk on her face. Clarke trudged over to the woman and sent a glare her way when she heard her giggling.

"What was that all about?"

Clarke huffed loudly,"Nothing. Just my new neighbor that I can't stand."

"Can't stand?" Maya asked smugly,"I'm supposed to believe that after seeing her walk out that door with kiss swollen lips and messy hair? And not to mention that I'm pretty sure that's her shirt you're wearing."

"It's complicated," Clarke said with a deep blush.

"Sure it is."

The blonde checked her watch and cringed at the time,"Can you just bag this for me? I'm not going to have time to eat it here. Maybe if I run fast enough I can eat it before class starts."

"Yeah, I got you. But don't think that I'm going to just forget about this. I want all the details the next time you come in," Maya said pointedly as she bagged the food.

Clarke rolled her eyes,"Fine. Next time. I have to go now though or otherwise I'll be late."

"Go," Maya said with a soft smile as she handed over the bag,"Study hard so you can go save lives someday. I might need you to be my surgeon sometime in the near future."

"I hope not," Clarke called back as she made her way to the exit.

Maya was one person she never wanted to see on her operating table. Ever.

Clarke took a glance out the glass door and noticed the rain still pouring down only a little heavier than earlier. With a low groan she tugged on her jacket and pulled the hood up before stepping outside. A few curses fell from her lips as she questioned why she decided to walk on a day like today.

"It's not going to rain that much, Clarke. You'll be fine walking today, just take a rain coat," The blonde mumbled to herself as she made her way down the empty sidewalk,"Why do I listen to myself?"

She could feel the droplets of rain soaking her pants and shoes as she tried to rush as fast as possible back to campus. Clarke knew that she was probably going to get an ear full about trailing water into her professor's classroom, not that she could help it any. She was, however, thankful that her - _Lexa's_ \- shirt was safe and dry under her raincoat. Not to mention warm.

Clarke had internally shivered when the brunette had slipped the shirt onto her. Lexa's warmth had seeped into the fabric and enveloped her, almost like a hug. Almost like she could feel Lexa's ams around her again.

 ** _"_** ** _No, Clarke. You're supposed to be mad at her. No more thinking about her arms,"_** Clarke mentally scolded herself.

The loud booming of thunder startled out of her thoughts and had her suddenly yelping and dropping the plastic bag in her hands. The bag splashed with a wet 'plop' onto the concrete slab below her feet, splashing even more water onto her soaked shoes. Clarke rolled her eyes at her clumsiness and began to bend down to pick up her food. Just as her hands skimmed along the plastic the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.

And it was already to late for her to cry out as a hand covered her mouth and she was pulled into an alleyway.

Whoever held her slammed her back into the wall, momentarily disorienting her, and pushed their body up against her's. She struggled against them, muffled yells sounding against the hand over her mouth, but they kept a firm grip. In her struggle her hood had fallen back and her eyes were now overrun by falling droplets. The rain blurred her vision and the most she could tell of the person holding her was that they were male and had black hair.

 _The man from the coffee shop._

"The more you struggle the worse it'll be," The man husked in front of her.

Clarke shivered and her stomach rolled as she thought of what this man possibly wanted to do with her. That alone caused her to thrash around even more. The pounding rain around them drowned out her near silent screams and she feared no one would ever hear her.

Suddenly a sharp point was pressed against her cheek, the biting cold metal of a blade something she wished she never had to face.

"Now, now, just calm down. I wouldn't want to have to hurt this pretty face of your's," The man chuckled as he ran the blade along her jaw.

Hot tears poured down her cheeks, washed away by the rain, but still there nonetheless. This was how she was going to die? Held against a brick wall in an alley with some thug trying to do god knows what to her? What would happen when her body was discovered by police? When her parents were told the news? Raven?

 _Lexa?_

Clarke was startled by the sudden thought of the brunette. Why, out of all the people she knew, did she think of her? Someone she was angry with. Who stirred up every emotion she could without even trying? They had only had one night together, and Lexa had entitled it as a 'mistake' and Clarke hated her for it, and yet…she still thought about her. Why? She wasn't sure.

For a moment, one sweet moment, she had slipped away from the situation she was currently facing. But she was drawn back into it when she felt grimy hands pulling at the zipper of her coat. She fought back against the man, her screams renewed and a little louder than before.

"Shut the fuck up or else your body will be on the afternoon news," The man growled as he pushed the blade harder against her cheek.

She felt the sting where it pierced her flesh. Felt the hot blood bead against her cold skin.

 _This was it._

Watery blue eyes became hidden behind scrunched eyelids. Images of her life, happy and carefree, filled her mind as she waited for the worst to happen.

 _Her parents._

A hand began trailing down towards her pants.

 _Raven, Harper, Maya._

The button on her jeans was popped open.

 _Those green eyes and that stupid smirk._

And just when Clarke was ready to detach herself from her body, the man was gone. She fell forward, falling to the ground and barely managing to catch herself before she hit the ground. Her breath came out in heavy pants and she only now realized that she had been holding her breath. She tried to calm her racing nerves but there was no use. Her head was light, her vision blurry and not just because of the rain anymore.

"Clarke!"

Suddenly there were hands on her arms. She jerked back fearing that the man had returned and remembered her name from when Maya called out to her in the shop. She thrashed around, shouting and throwing her balled up fists as hard as she could at the body in front of her, eyes shut tightly.

"Clarke! Calm down! It's me! It's Lexa! It's over!"

Blue eyes snapped open and met wild green. Lexa's features swam around her still somewhat blurry vision and she couldn't help the stutter of her heart when she noticed the concern etched into them. Small wrinkles creased between the brunette's brows as she studied Clarke. Her hands were held out between them, palm out, to show her that she meant no harm.

"Lexa," Clarke breathed out.

She didn't hold back. The fear from what had almost occurred sent her flying into Lexa's arms. Clarke pressed herself tightly against Lexa's strong frame and buried her hands into the wet fabric of her jacket. She could feel the brunette tense beneath her before she relaxed and wrapped her arms around her. That same warmth that she had felt with Lexa's shirt was now radiating off the brunette herself. This was stronger thought. More real and alive beneath her, a chest rising and falling as she was pulled tighter into it.

In the distance, Clarke could hear police sirens racing towards them. She didn't know how but she knew that Lexa had called them and her body's tension eased up just a bit at the thought.

"It's over, Clarke. It's going to be okay," Lexa whispered into her hair as she cradled her tightly.

And she knew it was, but there was _something else_ that was starting. Something that was beginning to settle deep in her gut and fluttered every time she caught that hint of vast green and that strong jawline.

 _Something else was definitely beginning._


	4. Live For Me, Promise Me

Jade eyes peered around the scene in front of her.

It wasn't too much longer before her and Clarke were being lead out of the alleyway, the rain now only a slight mist atop their heads. Blue lights flashed off of building windows which held the curious and wondering eyes of anyone looking to catch a glimpse of whatever incident they thought had occurred. She could hear a few officers shouting for an EMT to assist the man still lying in the alleyway groaning through blood and broken teeth.

It took everything in her for Lexa to remove her arms from around Clarke as another female EMT asked to look her over. Blue eyes held her's in slight panic as she felt the warm and safe arms falling away from her.

"You're going to be okay, Clarke. No one's going to hurt you," Lexa spoke softly.

Something seemed to click into place in those baby blues,"Uh, yeah. You're right. I'm sorry."

Before she could tell Clarke that she had nothing to be sorry for the EMT was already leading her away so she could take care of any wounds. She kept a close eye on the blonde as she took a seat on the edge of the bus and was wrapped in a thick wool blanket by the woman. Her mind began wondering as Clarke was carefully looked over.

What happened if she hadn't been there?

The extent of damage the disgusting man would have done to Clarke had she not stopped him?

Lexa shivered violently where she stood and not because of the rain that soaked through her clothing. After one more quick glance to assure herself that Clarke was still fine the brunette's gaze was casted down to her hands. Her knuckles were split open, bruises beginning to form around them from the brut of her punches. Her ribs throbbed painfully from where the man had got a good punch in himself. She could also feel the drying blood caked over the split on her lip from where the man's head cracked against her's forcefully, thankful, although, that he had horrible aim.

"You need someone to check you over?"

She quickly dropped her hands and stared up at the officer that had addressed her. The man was tall, muscular in build with a head full of slightly graying hair hidden underneath an officer's hat. His eyes were that of a gentle but disciplined soul as he took in Lexa's stiff posture and beaten hands.

"No, um, thank you though. I'll be okay."

"It was brave of you to do that for her, you know. You really saved her back there," The man said evenly as he pulled out a pen and small notepad,"My name is officer Kane. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about what happened?"

She glanced up at Clarke and noticed her also talking with an officer as the EMT took her vitals. Blue eyes drifted to her's for the slightest of moments before she tore away her gaze and shifted it back to the officer before her.

The brunette held out a hand in a polite gesture and nodded curtly as Kane accepted it,"Lexa Woods. Ask away."

Kane ran her through a series of routine questions. What happened? How did you come by the scene of the crime? What occurred between point A and point B. So on and so fourth. By the time she answered the last question a gurney carrying Clarke's assailant passed behind Kane. Lexa's furious eyes stayed trained on the now unconscious man, nostrils flared and lips in a tight line as she reigned in her anger.

The officer glanced behind him for a moment before turning back to her with wide eyes,"You did quite the number on him."

"Well, he would have—," Lexa's words broke off, unable to finish the vile sentence.

Her throat felt constricted as imaginary sounds of Clarke calling out for help filled her ears. Her vision swam with pained blue eyes and blood matted blood curls, a weak hand held out to her for help. Dark lashes fluttered quickly to remove the vision from her green eyes as she felt the bile begin to rise in her throat. Lexa took a calming breath before searching for Clarke through the crowd once again. The rumbling unease in her stomach settled a bit as she saw the blonde smiling thankfully at the EMT.

"Is that all?" Lexa questioned hastily, cutting off whatever nonsense Kane had been discussing with. Not that she was listening.

"Uh, yes. I've got your information here should anything else arise. Thank you for your time, Ms. Woods."

She didn't even care that she couldn't remember giving her information to Kane. The only thing that seemed to matter right now was feeling Clarke's unmarked flesh under her palms once more. Feeling the warm puffs of breath against her neck as she held her close in comfort. Seeing those eyes gazing at her with such…

Lexa stopped short in her trek towards Clarke. One that she wasn't even aware that she had started.

 _No_.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't feel this way about anyone. Not again. Not after…

She couldn't. She wouldn't. She _won't_.

It took everything for her to steal her features, to wipe the worry that was laden within her eyes. Took everything to rotate the tension from her shoulders and restart a steady, unhurried trek to the blonde. Lexa quelled the racing of her heart seeing Clarke sitting on the edge of the bus, blanket wrapped around her and wet brassy hair clinging to her paler-than-usual skin. By time she reached her, hands clasped in front of her to keep from reaching out to her, the EMT was done with her routine check and was repacking any supplies she had used.

"Hey."

The words were soft, a bare whisper on the wind but, in truth, they were a tidal wave in Lexa's ears. The raspiness that clung to the edge of Clarke's voice sent chills down her spine.

 _She couldn't do this._

When Lexa stayed unknowingly silent the blonde continued,"I w-wanted to say thank you…for what you did, Lexa."

The brunette suddenly snapped out of the waging war inside her head, or was it her heart?

"Don't, Clarke," Lexa pressed as she took a tiny step closer,"I would never just walk away from something like that happening to someone. I would have done it for anyone."

"Right," Clarke said with a forced chuckle, not one of amusement,"I, uh, I'm gonna go."

Lexa watched, confused, as the blonde stood from her seat on the bus and dropped the blanket inside and throwing out a 'thanks' to the EMT.

"Clarke, wait," The brunette called as Clarke tried to walk away from her.

"What, Lexa? What could you possibly want?"

The anger was a surprise. She expected tears, clinging fingers on her shirt like they had been minutes ago. But not this. Not the fire hot gaze that bore into her very being.

"Why are you upset? What did I say?"

"Really? Did you not hear yourself speaking moments ago? What you said to me?"

 _I would have done it for anyone._

Oh.

Lexa cringed as she heard the words echo in her head. To Clarke, the words must have insinuated that she didn't necessarily care that it was her that she rescued. That she wouldn't have went out of her way _just_ to save the blonde.

If only she knew…the extent that her feelings were rising to. The feelings that she would no longer allow to grow.

 _Not again._

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it," Lexa sighed.

A bitter laugh escaped the blonde's lips,"Then what did it mean? That you actually _cared_ enough to step in because it was me and not some other person? And that can't be it because last time I checked you didn't _care_ enough to even think that what happened the other night might have been something more."

"Clarke, I—."

"No," Clarke abruptly cut her off shaking her head,"I can't. Not today. I can't be around you right now. Thank you for saving me, honestly, but I think it'd be best if we just stay away from each other."

And just like that the blonde was gone. A fleeting image of wet hair, watery eyes, and a bandaged cheek disappearing through all the cops and bystanders. She knew it was her job to follow her, to keep her safe, but her legs were filled with lead. Grounding her to her spot on the wet pavement as officers buzzed around her gathering evidence of the attempted crime. Her gaze locked down onto her hands and only then, as a flash of Clarke's bandaged cheek rushed through her mind, did she realize that the small amount of blood smeared on her right hand wasn't her's or the man's.

 _Blood._

 _So much blood._

 _Hands shaking, clutching at the pouring wound._

 _No. This can't be happening._

 _It wasn't supposed to be like this._

 _"_ _You did this. It's because of you that they're dead — that she's dead. Because you let your emotions distract you."_

 ** _Love is weakness. Love makes you blind._**

The sound of the ambulance's door snapping shut pulled Lexa from her thoughts. Her chest heaved with a shaky breath and she looked skyward in an attempt to stop the swell of salty liquid in her eyes. It had been a while since that fated night had entered her mind. And it wasn't something she was looking to bring back up again. Not for a while.

With a deep sigh, Lexa figured there was nothing more for her here and it was time for her to head home. Before she could even take a step in the direction of her apartment her name was being called through the crowd.

"Ms. Woods! Please, wait!" Officer Kane called as her jogged lightly up to her.

Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose,"I've already answered all of your questions, Officer. I'd really just like to go home now."

"No more questions, I swear. I was actually wondering if you would be seeing Clarke anytime soon. We found it in the alleyway. I figured it was her's."

Lexa's head tilted slightly as Kane held up a delicate little chain. A spherical charm, beautifully detailed to depict the Earth in all its glory, dangled at the end. She could hazily remember the necklace moving in time with the heavy chest that laid under her. Could remember her lips brushing past it as she trailed down pale skin.

"Um, yeah. I'm pretty sure that's Clarke's. I can get it back to her," Lexa replied robotically, mind still reeling from the images of the blonde.

Kane gently laid the necklace in her upturned palm before bidding her farewell. She barely registered him walking away and beginning to order everyone to start clearing out, her eyes still locked on the charm. The continents were a shiny silver, something she found a little strange, but the rest was colored a beautiful shimmery blue. One that rivaled the eyes that had been staring at her with something so fierce not too long ago.

Lexa swallowed past the lump in her throat, knowing that she would have to return the necklace to Clarke. If the blonde found out that she had it and didn't return it to her as soon as possible there was a great chance that her anger towards Lexa would only rise. It had to be something important to her, seeing as to how every time Lexa recalled looking anywhere near the blonde's chest her brain had subconsciously registered that the necklace laid against her skin. She just never really paid attention to it until now.

With the tension once again creeping it's way up her neck, Lexa began her walk back towards home. The necklace dangled delicately from her clenched fingers. The charm rocked back and forth, almost resembling Lexa's own rocking emotions.

* * *

She had been standing there way too long. Longer than she would ever admit to anyone. Hand poised above the door ready to send a swift knock into the wood. But overtime she willed her hand to move it was like some unseen force was holding it back. Her palms were sweaty, the necklace almost slipping from her grasp more than once. Her mind raced with what she would possibly say once Clarke opened the door.

"God, I'm an idiot. I can't even knock on her door and return a silly necklace," Lexa mumbled to herself as she let her hand drop to her side.

And she stood there. Still staring at the wooden door that separated her and Clarke's apartment. Memories of her pushing the blonde against that very door as she tried to unlock it danced behind her eyes. Almost taunting her with moans that filled her ears.

"Lexa?"

Emerald eyes turned to the sound of her name, locking onto confused blue. Clarke stood a few feet away from her, keys and what looked like take out in her hands. Her clothes were still a little damp, only an hour having gone by since the incident.

"What are you doing here? I thought I said i—," Lexa quickly cut her off before she could continue.

"I know what you said. I just needed to give you something. I thought you were home already. That's why I was standing here."

She rambled nervously. She knew she did. But she couldn't help it. The emotions that she tried to tame were beginning to rise against her better judgement and she suddenly wanted to be as far away from Clarke as possible. And the blonde seemed to want the same thing.

"Give me what?" Clarke questioned curiously, stepping just a hair closer.

Lexa, against her better judgement, stepped forward, closing most of the distance between them, and held out her fist for Clarke. The blonde's eyes wondered to her hand before gazing back to her with questioning eyes. Tentatively Clarke maneuvered her keys into her other hand before holding it open under her's. Lexa took the moment to examine Clarke's face. She could see the wariness settling at the corners of her eyes, the slight creases on her forehead more noticeable. She knew that today's events would take a tole on the woman before her but she didn't expect to see the evidence playing across Clarke's features so early on.

Quickly breaking away from Clarke's face Lexa opened her hand enough to let the necklace drop from her palm, her fingers still gripping the chain. The Earth charm dangled helplessly above Clarke's hand, barley brushing the skin, as the brunette awaited her reaction.

A gasp sounded from slightly chapped lips, hand moving away from the charm and brushing along her empty chest.

"Where did you get that? I never take it off! I didn't even realize it was gone!"

Lexa averted her gaze as Clarke quickly grasped the necklace, their fingers brushing swiftly, sending a small spark between their meeting skin.

"One of the officers, Kane, found it in the alleyway. You must have lost it in the struggle. He asked if I could return it to you."

Clarke's eyes wondered over the jewelry, inspecting for any hidden damage it might have taken. Once satisfied, she lifted her gaze back to Lexa, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to find words.

"Um, t-thank you. I don't know what I would have done without this," Clarke whispered as she gripped the necklace tighter.

"It was nothing. Kane found it. I just wanted to make sure you got it back," Lexa replied as she stuffed her hands into her pockets, posture stiffing in awkwardness.

It was like something had snapped back into place in Clarke. That she remembered her current feelings towards the brunette. One second she was staring at her with something Lexa would say was akin to gratitude before it quickly swapped to the anger from earlier. Clarke held her head high, pocketing the necklace as she looked Lexa over with a somewhat bored expression.

"Is that it?"

There was a slight pang in Lexa's chest at the harshness in Clarke's voice. She didn't know why she felt it. Why it hurt her so much. This was what she wanted. What she needed. She couldn't get attached to Clarke. She couldn't let feelings get in the way. They only made things more complicated. It was best if Clarke thought they both hated each other. Although it was a completely different thing trying to convince herself of that.

"Yeah. That's it," Lexa said firmly.

Clarke didn't pry any further. Instead, she simply stepped around the brunette and quickly unlock her door. Lexa stayed rooted to her spot as she listened to keys jingle and the door opening, followed quickly by it slamming shut. The sound reverberated in her chest. Pulling at her heart and making it pound against her ribs as something snapped within her.

Everything she felt, everything she remembered. Seeing Clarke's beauty for the first time. Having her withering underneath her. Holding her close and comforting her in that alley. She pushed it away. Buried it deep and locked it away. Her face feel into an emotionless mask, eyes steeled over and no longer holding that little glimmer that began to resurface when green met blue for the first time.

Back ridged, Lexa turned and made her way into her apartment. Before the door swung completely shut she allowed herself one last lingering gaze at the apartment across the hall.

Nothing would make this any easier for her.

Not after this.

Not after Clarke.

* * *

 _"_ _Any visuals?"_

 _Fuzzy static filled the ear piece of her comm as green eyes scanned the surrounding area outside the glass door. The few people behind her shuffled as silently as possible as they waited for her command._

 _"_ _All clear. No visuals of any hostiles," A gruff voice filled her ear._

 _Lexa peered behind her, taking in the honey colored eyes that lingered on her. With a swift nod the people began moving forward. A well suited man, a lawyer that was on a high profile drug case, stood in the center of three others. Two flanked his sides while the remaining trailed behind him. The only relevant one to Lexa was the woman standing to his left. She allowed herself one last fleeting look at the mocha colored skin and tight ringlet curls before turing her attention back to the door._

 _"_ _Eyes open. I don't want any surprises. I want him in the car in two minutes tops," Lexa commanded, hand resting on her holstered gun at her side._

 _Everyone nodded at her words. This was the closest they were able to get lawyer. The closest exit to the curb with the least amount of open space. One suitable for transporting him safely._

 _Or so they thought._

 _It happened just before they reached the blacked out Escalade. The gun shots rang out, pinging off the pavement under them and sinking into the metal of the SUV. Her team swarmed the lawyer. Pressing him down as they began to return fire as best they could, only knowing the shooters general location. They moved as fast as they were able, trying to dodge as many bullets as possible. Just as they reached the midway distance the gunfire stopped. Like they had given up and just left._

 _But Lexa knew better._

 _They jumped as one._

 _Men swarmed around them. Four on four. Evenly matched. Lexa took the brief reprieve to take into account that there were surprisingly no guns in their possession._

 _That was all the time she had before they pounced. The brunette quickly shoved the lawyer towards the wall, hoping to keep him as far away from the men as possible. As she took stance against her opponent, in the back of her mind, she vaguely wondered just why they hadn't shot them all dead when given the chance. They had them surrounded and apparently with a snipper hiding out._

 _She kept herself between the man and the lawyer at all times as the fight began. Every time he tried to side step her she flung herself in the way, taking the brut of any punch or kick. She could hear her team taking down the men one by one as she finally beat the man into the ground. Blood sprayed from his nose, mouth, and left her white button up completely covered. Her knuckles burned, split open and her chest heaving._

 _She could hear her team shouting above the buzzing in her ears. Adrenaline spiked in her veins. Her mind blurred. Worrying taking hold of her._

 _"_ _Costia!" Lexa called out as she wiped around._

 _She could see her rising from the ground a few feet away, hand pressing against a bleeding arm. Nothing too serious from the looks of it. But her mind forgot what she was doing, who she was supposed to be protecting. She raced forward, attempting to get to the person who had her heart tearing in her chest at the sight of her blood._

 _She didn't feel the lawyer follow her. Didn't care that he basically clung to the back of her shirt in fear. All that mattered was getting to Costia._

 _Lexa came to a halt in front of her, the lawyer moving to their side as her hands found the cut along Costia's arm._

 _"_ _Are you okay?"_

 _Honey colored eyes danced across her's with a light expression,"I'm fine. Nothing a few stitches won't fix."_

 _With her eyes trained on the rest of the woman's body, examining and prodding for any other injuries, she failed to notice one thing._

 _The one thing that made a complete difference in her life. That turned it upside down._

 _But Costia noticed._

 _And Lexa prayed she never had._

 _It was slow motion._

 _Costia was flinging her sideways, putting herself in front of the lawyer as a single shot reverberated in her ears._

 _The flood of tears were blurring but not enough to cover the twin pools of red the covered the concrete in front of her._

 _Not one but two._

 _She had failed both of them._

 _A single bullet moving through Costia's abdomen and into the lawyer. A miracle shot to the shooter._

 _Lexa was upon her in an instant, trying to stop the bleeding. But Costia's eyes only grew dimmer by the second. She could hear her the rest of her team surround them, the sound of sirens blaring, but they were already too late._

 _Costia's eyes were fading quickly, blood spilling from pale lips. But still she smiled at Lexa. Gave her a last fleeting image that she deserved. Of someone who was happy to have her last vision filled with someone she loved._

 _"_ _Don't stop living. Live for me…promise me."_

 _A sob escaped her chest,"No, Cos. You're gonna be fine. The ambulance the-they're on their way. They'll make you better."_

 _Lashes fluttered tiredly,"Promise me."_

 _She clung to the hand that lifted to her cheek. Desperately squeezed it as her chest ached._

 _"_ _I promise," Lexa cried out._

 _It was as if Costia held on for those last words. Not willing to leave the Earth until Lexa vowed to live. And in the back of her mind, Lexa thought that maybe, just maybe, if she had never said the words before the ambulance arrived, that Costia would have lived._

 _It wasn't until the next day, when she was sitting in her superior's office, that she came to realize that she could only half way live up to Costia's promise._

 _"_ _You did this. It's because of you that they're dead — that she's dead. Because you let your emotions distract you."_

 _She would live. But she wouldn't_ ** _live._**

 _She breathed. Ate enough to keep her body going. But there was never something that made her feel alive. Nothing that sparked that little flame that had sat deep within her, long since blown out since having her love pass in her own arms._

 _At least, not until her vision was over come by blue. A gorgeous hue that would either become her demise or her savior._


	5. Feeling

Blonde hair peeked out the cocoon of blankets at the sound of her door being beat upon. Muffled voices called out her name but Clarke only groaned and smothered herself deeper into the fluffy warmth.

It had been a week since that day.

Since she was being pushed roughly into the alleyway by the disgusting man.

Since _Lexa_ had saved her.

And it took everything for Clarke to leave her apartment each day. To act as normal as possible and pretend that nothing happened. But it didn't help much when her heart would race and her palms would sweat with fear every time she passed another alley. She hadn't even been to the cafe since and she was more than sure that Maya was worried about not seeing her on her usual Tuesday.

Clarke had even bailed out on helping Raven with her shop more in this past week than she ever had before. She felt secure and safe with the Latina around but it was every time a male customer came in that she would flinch and try to keep her distance. Try not to react with fear when they walked up to the counter that she sat behind and start talking to her about car services.

But it was slowly getting better with each day. And it helped much more than she realized when Officer Kane called her and told her that, thanks to Lexa's official statement made a few days ago, that there was no need for her to testify; the man was going to be behind bars for quite some time. Clarke took comfort in that but pushed away the warm feeling that had risen in her heart when Lexa's name was spoken.

The blonde couldn't explain her feelings for the somewhat stoic woman. One moment she hated her for saying their night together was a mistake and another moment she was batting away at rising feelings. Feelings she knew wouldn't be returned from the brunette…and that only made her anger simmer more. Clarke's head was a jumbled mess of feelings and emotions, both from the events in the alley and the emerald eyes that invaded her sleep and every waking moment.

The sound of her front door slamming open pulled her from her thoughts and had her rolling her eyes as she heard Raven's voice making it's way towards her bedroom. She had just enough time to pull the covers over her head before the door swung open and crashed against her bedroom wall.

"Griffin! What the _hell_ are you still doing in bed? Get your ass up now!"

Clarke groaned in protest as the blankets were whisked away from her body, the cool air hitting her skin and making her shiver. She peeked one blurry eye open to see Raven standing at the foot of her bed, hands on hips, and a bored expression on her face.

"Why are you here, Rae?" Clarke rasped as she tried to find some lingering warmth in the sheets below her.

"To get you out of this damn rut! You've barely come out of your apartment this week! You missed two group study sessions _and_ you've bailed on me three times. I know you've been going to class but that's _all_ you've been doing," Raven said as she took a seat next to her on the bed,"I know you're still scared about what happened that day but it's not going to help you by just hiding from the world. You can't let this pull you down, princess."

Clarke rolled over so she was facing the brunette,"I'm not letting it pull me down."

"Yes, you are," Raven argued, sending a swift wack against Clarke's leg,"I even went to the cafe to talk to Maya and she was worried and said she didn't see you on your normal Tuesday. You've never missed a Tuesday since you started going there, Clarke."

The blonde's eyebrows rose slightly at the confession. She knew how much Raven hated the little corner cafe, what with her inhumanly dislike for the smell _and_ taste for coffee. She couldn't even get the Latina to step one foot in the door after she found it, refusing because the smell would 'make her puke her guts out'.

"I-I didn't feel like going, that's all," Clarke whispered.

Raven's eyes searched her before sighing,"Everyone knows what happened, Clarke. No one's going to make fun of you for being scared. It's a normal feeling after situations like that. Everyone's just worried about you, even Octavia."

Blue eyes rolled at the mention of her other best friend,"She's so worried but she couldn't be here to show it?"

"Hey, don't count me out just yet. It takes time to get from the other side of town," A voice said from the threshold of her bedroom door.

Clarke sat up in bed and smiled widely at the sight of the other brunette making her way towards them. She shuffled off the bed and pulled Octavia into a tight hug, thankful that she was finally seeing her after so long.

"Sorry I couldn't be here sooner, Clarke. I choose a sucky ass time to go to LA," Octavia whispered in her ear.

The blonde smiled and fell deeper into the hug. She wasn't mad at Octavia for not being there for her, not that she really tried to see anyone the past week anyway. The brunette was a pretty successful personal trainer and was sometimes invited to attend conventions and teach classes and what not. Though, she was still never successful in getting Clarke to exercise for more than thirty minutes, if that.

"It's okay, O. I know it was a work couldn't have known it would happen anyway."

Octavia's arms tightened around her and Clarke felt the tension in her neck and shoulders ease up a bit at her friend's familiar warmth.

"And to think all I got was a 'why are you here, Raven'," The Latina scoffed,"Where's my hug?"

Both friends backed out of the hug and smirked wickedly at each other before dog piling on top of the unsuspecting woman. Laughter filled the bedroom as they all tumbled around the bed, a few pokes and wiggling fingers against ribs prolonging the sound and making it grow louder with each passing second. Once settled, the three women laid spread out over Clarke's bed, eyes on the ceiling.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Octavia whispered from her spot next to it.

Clarke shook her head a bit,"Not really. It's over. He's behind bars. That's all that matters, I guess."

Raven propped herself on an elbow to look down at her,"You should still talk to someone about it, Clarke. Keeping it all bottled up isn't going to help you. If not us then at least a therapist or…"

"Or?" The blonde urged her to continue.

"Maybe Lexa?"

A deep sigh billowed out passed her lips at the woman's name. She wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to Lexa or not.

"I don't know, Rae. I thanked her for what she did. I don't think there's any more to talk about," Clarke bit out.

This time, it was Octavia who sat up and flicked her eyes between her two friends,"This is the same Lexa that you slept with the other week?"

"You told her?" Clarke threw at Raven who merely shrugged.

She had told her friend about the events that occurred after leaving the club and the morning after the day before the alley incident. Raven, of course, had immediately claimed that she was right about the sexual tension and that Clarke had her to thank for getting laid and also scolded her for leaving her alone in the club without so much as a text.

"You would have told her yourself anyway. I just made the gossip train run a little faster," Raven smirked.

Clarke rolled her eyes before addressing Octavia again,"Yes. The same Lexa that I slept with, who said it was a mistake, saved me that day."

"Damn, small world," The brunette said.

"Not really."

Both girls looked at her, confused.

"What do you mean by that?" They both asked.

The blonde looked guilty between the two. She was a little upset with herself for not telling either one of her friends _exactly_ what happened that day, only letting them learn everything from news reports and police officers. She had only sent a quick text to Raven and her parents, who would have shown up at her doorstep if it weren't for work, to let them know that she was safe and mostly unharmed. They had tried to get more out of her but when she refused to talk they knew there was no use trying to press her stubborn self.

"Clarke?" Octavia urged her out of thoughts.

Fingers played with the hem of her shirt as she continued staring at the ceiling.

"I went to the cafe that day because I actually had time to spare for once. I got my food and was ready to eat before I ran into Lexa. She…spilled her coffee all over me. Pulled me to the bathroom when a bunch of frat boys walked in because you could see my bra through my shirt. She gave me hers and then…"

She gave every little detail of what happened. From the moment Lexa flipped their positions and had her pinned against the bathroom wall down to her returning her necklace later that day. Raven and Octavia listened with rapt attention, sucking up every little bit of information and giving her shoulders comforting squeezes at hard parts.

"So she slept with you, told you it was a mistake the next morning," Octavia replayed the events,"Two days later is pushing you up against the bathroom wall in a heated little session that _you_ started to try and leave her high and dry only to have it backfire on you, then _saves_ you from some sleaze bag, and goes back to being stoic after returning your necklace?"

"Basically," Clarke sighed as she fingered her necklace that lay against her chest.

"Seems like you're both just running away from your real emotions," Raven says nonchalantly as she examines her nails.

And Clarke knew that her friend was right, at least for herself, not really knowing what Lexa felt at the moment. There was that little spark of emotion that swelled in her chest every time Lexa was mentioned or just happened to brush against her thoughts. She didn't know what to call it but ever since her first encounter with the brunette it just always seemed to back bounce to hate. Was it just her heart using her anger to cover up her real emotions? Was Lexa doing the very same thing?

"You should go talk to her," Octavia's voice filtered through her mind.

Startled ocean eyes landed on her friend,"What?"

"Talk to her. Tell her how you really feel about everything that's happened."

"How I really fe—," Raven was quick to cut her off.

"Yes, Clarke. How you really feel. Obviously when you left that club with her only after knowing her for a total of less than four hours you felt something for her. Everyone's noticed that you've been acting weird and I know it's because of her. You can't hide it from me or Octavia."

They were right. Maybe it was time for her to push this petty anger aside and actually talk to Lexa like the adult that she was. Well, was _supposed_ to be. But just how was she supposed to let her feelings out to the brunette when she clearly denied there being any feelings between them from the beginning. Obviously, she was more than likely to turn her down once again instead of reciprocating the feelings. But, maybe if she was true to herself and to Lexa, she would be able to get it all out of her head. Because if she was being honest the brunette was on her mind more than she liked to admit.

And that could only mean one thing.

She felt for her.

It freaked Clarke out just how fast her mind went from fretting over the events in the alleyway to being completely overwhelmed and feeling somewhat _safe_ while talking and thinking about Lexa.

"You're right. I'll go talk to her," Clarke said determinedly as she stood from the bed.

Octavia and Raven watched her with wide eyes.

"Really? It was that easy?" Raven asked, shocked.

"Yeah."

"Normally it takes your stubborn ass days to actually follow through with something. I'll believe it when I see Lexa laying naked in your bed."

Octavia snickered beside Raven.

"Well, you won't be seeing her naked because that's not going to happen. At least not yet. I don't even know if she'll return the feelings guys. She's the one who said it was all a mistake when we slept together. I doubt she's looking for another one night stand let alone a relationship," Clarke sighed.

Raven stood from the bed, quickly whispering in Octavia's ear and moved towards her door,"One way to find out."

Octavia winked at her and pushed her out the bedroom a few moments later, Raven already opening the front door of her apartment and stepping into the hallway. Clarke stuttered as her friend pushed her out the apartment to stand before the door across the hall. The Latina currently leaned against the wall next to it playfully eyeing her as Octavia closed the door behind her.

"What are we doing out here?" Clarke asked nervously, already scared because she knew the answer she would receive.

"You're the one that said you were going to talk to her and Octavia and I know that if we leave before you do then you'll never do it. So we're gonna make sure it happens."

Before she had any time to question her best friends Raven was knocking loudly against Lexa's door. Clarke was left, heart racing and a nervous sweat breaking along her spine, as both women ran down the hallway and towards the stairs, far away from her. By time the blonde had regained control of her stunned thoughts and was about to rush back into her apartment, the door of Lexa's apartment was swinging open. Lexa stepped out slowly, hair up in a messy bun and an oversized 'UDC' t-shirt covering most of her frame, cotton sleeping shorts barely peeking out past it's hem.

"Clarke? Everything okay?"

She hated how emotionless Lexa sounded when she asked the question. Clarke knew that there had to be something the brunette felt when they were together. This pull, the one that made her brain spin in circles and confuse her body to no end, couldn't be felt just by her alone. There had to be something within Lexa, too.

Azure eyes floated down the end of the hallway trying see if her friends were still peeking out from somewhere but she got nothing. When she turned back she barely had time to register that Lexa had followed her quick glance before she was staring into those twin green pools. Her hands wrung together at the hem of her shirt, not able to pull her eyes away from Lexa's.

"Um, yeah. Yeah, everything's fine. I, uh…can we talk? Please?"

Lexa's eyes traveled over her form, eyes seeming to widen as she looked at her shirt, although Clarke wasn't sure why. Those pillowy lips pursed into a tight line as she leaned against the frame of her door.

"I've actually got com—."

The brunette was cut off by a light shove behind her. Clarke tried to peer around her shoulder before a dirty blonde woman came into view next to her. The woman was a few inches taller than Lexa, angled cheek bones and flawless skin, Leather jacket hugging her shoulders as she stretched.

"I'm actually gonna head out. I've got somewhere to be. Have fun with your friend, Lex."

Clarke watched with wide eyes as the woman waved to Lexa over her shoulder as she strut down the hallway. As she disappeared around the corner and down the stairs she heard Lexa let out a deep sigh. Slim fingers pinched the bridge of a delicate nose as she shook her head.

"I'm sorry about her. Anya is…well Anya. There's really no explaining her," Lexa said before straightening herself up,"You said you wanted to talk?"

Now something else was boiling in Clarke's mind. Something that started as soon as _Anya_ walked out of Lexa's apartment looking like she just rolled out of bed. A bed they probably _shared_. She wasn't able to stop the next words that tumbled from her lips. Her mind far too wrapped up in swirling emotions to filter exactly what she was going to say.

"Who was she? Another _mistake_?"

She didn't want to be that girl. The one that was jealous and bitter about being turned down, but she was at this moment. Her anger clouded her judgement that Lexa thought her a mistake but not someone else.

"Anya?" Lexa laughed, ignoring the bite in Clarke's words,"She's my cousin."

Clarke blanched, not expecting that answer. She stood there silently and nervously picked at her nails as she tried to form some sort of thought so she could reconcile the moment between them but everything failed her. She wasn't sure how long they had been standing there before Lexa was pushing off the frame and walking back into her apartment slowly closing the door behind her.

"Wait!" Clarke cried out.

The door, once almost shut, was open once again, Lexa stepping back out into the hallway.

"What, Clarke? I thought you wanted to talk but instead you're just standing there. I don't feel like standing in the hallway all day waiting for you to say something," Lexa replied.

"I do want to talk. I was…I'm sorry I snapped about Anya. I didn't mean to. It was childish of me."

"It's okay," Lexa whispered,"I understand."

She wanted to laugh. Did she really? Did she really understand that she snapped because she was truly jealous because she thought Lexa was sleeping with someone else?

Clarke threw a thumb over her shoulder and shuffled nervously,"Do you mind, uh, if we talk at my place?"

Lexa seemed to contemplate the offer, glancing back inside her apartment for a moment before turning back and nodding,"Yeah, that's fine."

Both women walked slowly into Clarke's apartment, the door shutting behind Lexa with a soft 'click' that reverberated through the silence. The blonde couldn't stop the rush of heat that rose in her cheeks, and _other_ places, as they sat on her couch. The very one that Lexa had her bent over not too long ago. She tried to keep the memories of them together, panting and sweaty, as Lexa shifted next to her. Clarke caught the subtle clench of her thighs and instantly knew that her thoughts had drifted to the same place as her's.

"So," Lexa drawled out,"What did you want to talk about?"

That little question almost made her sick. The thought that she was about to express her covered up feelings for the brunette making her dizzy in her seat. What if Lexa thought she was lying? What if she just laughed in her face and told her that she thought she hated her? What if…

 _No._

She needed to do this. It had been swirling in her mind since that first night together. And it only built every day. There was no stopping it in her mind. But first things first.

"I know I already said thank you, but I wanted to say it again," Clarke mumbled as she looked up at Lexa,"Thank you, for saving me. I don't…I'm not—."

The words were caught in her throat and she could see Lexa's eyes fill with something. Anger. Sadness. There was more there, too much to decipher in her currently state of a tight chest and blurry vision. As the first tear trailed down her cheeks she felt herself being tugged. Warm arms wrapped around her securely and she breathed in the woodsy scent of Lexa as she buried her face into her neck.

She wasn't sure where this had come from. Wasn't aware that the fear was stronger than what she originally thought. It was more than likely because she had buried it and was just now bringing everything back up to the surface to thank Lexa for what she did. She was bringing back the fears, the flashes, that she had when she was trapped against that wall.

"I tho-thought that was the end. Th-that I wouldn't see anyone else again," Clarke hiccuped,"My parents, Raven and Octavia… _you_. I was so scared."

Clarke felt Lexa stiffen in surprise at the mention of herself. She couldn't have been expecting the blonde to think about her in a near death situation. Lexa's arms loosened and gently pushed her back as one hand rose to cup her cheek, thumb delicately brushing over the fading scar there while wiping away salty tears. Thick black lashes fluttered at the feeling, the memory of the cold biting blade being replaced with Lexa's warm fingertip and let her breath a little easier.

But still the memories of being shoved against the wall invaded her mind. She couldn't stop them from repeating over and over in her head. The feeling of grimy hands on her skin making her shiver so violently that the brunette's ministrations against her cheek halted. When she felt the warm slipping away she quickly grabbed a hold of it and placed it back with slight pressure.

"Don't," Clarke whispered as the resurfacing memory faded away once again,"Please, don't stop."

She could hear, and see, the gentle bob of Lexa's throat as she swallowed thickly. Clarke was surprised by the amount of comfort she so willingly handed over despite thinking that they couldn't be together. That they were a _mistake_. But Lexa said nothing and just comforted Clarke the way she needed.

This was supposed to be a talk about their feelings but somehow got turned around into a comforting session. But Clarke couldn't find it in herself to care. Not when Lexa's skin and light breath fanning across her cheeks made the fears, the flashes, fade away. At least some of them. There were still a few lingering there. Filling the space in her mind that she couldn't seem to push away.

And suddenly she was standing from her couch, urgently pulling Lexa up with her.

"Clarke, what are you doing?"

"Do you trust me?" The blonde asked as she pulled her further away from the leather surface.

The brunette's eyes clouded in confusion before slowly nodding, albeit somewhat hesitantly.

Clarke lead them over to the same wall that Lexa had her pinned to the night they met. The images were there, the heavy breathing in her ear and Lexa moving against her. Without words, the blonde turned around and placed her back against the wall and slowly pulled Lexa towards her. She could feel the little protest in Lexa's muscles as she got closer, their hips almost touching.

"I can't," Lexa whispered.

" _Please_ ," Clarke brokenly whispered as her image of the man was replaced with Lexa,"I know I shouldn't be asking you this after how I acted towards you. I thought I hated you and didn't know how to react. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But please, don't leave me. Just…do this for me, listen to me, and then you can go. I won't stop you. I won't bother you anymore."

There was that little release of held breath that came from Lexa's lips before she was fully pressed against Clarke. Chest to chest, hip to hip, toe to toe. Foreheads suddenly grazing, noses bumping…lips a hair's breath away. But neither one of them makes that move, the one that would bring them together completely. In her mind Clarke could slowly feel that brick wall being replaced by the smooth one beneath her now. Filthy hands were shoved aside by warm inviting ones. That breath that ghosted across her skin was sweet, minty, instead of rancid and matted with slight alcohol.

Those horrible memories, the ones that woke her up at night and had her fearing the streets she walked every day, were wiped away. Wiped away and replaced by what was happening here - _now_. With Lexa. Being in her arms…it made everything better. Clarke wasn't sure just how it did, why it was so easy for Lexa, but it did. Ever so slowly it was like that certain time frame never happened. That she was instead still wrapped in Lexa's form in the cafe's bathroom.

And it only made her feelings harder to hide…but she didn't want to hide them anymore.

 ** _"_** ** _You can do this, Clarke. This is what you wanted to do. Let her know how you feel. Even if she turns you down…like you know she will,"_** Clarke thought to herself as her fingers traced sharp jawline.

The head of golden curls backed up as much as it could. Blue eyes peaked open and and failed to met green as they hid behind closed lids. Lexa's face was one of pure concentration. As if she was keeping herself at bay. It had Clarke's heart fluttering, wondering if the brunette was holding herself back form advancing on her…or maybe just trying to stop herself from pulling away. Her heart clenched painfully at the latter.

"Lexa," Clarke began lowly,"I didn't expect this to happen. I really did want to talk to you about something."

Those vast emerald orbs blinked open, zeroing in on Clarke in a millisecond,"Okay, then talk."

Pearl white teeth worried at her bottom lip as she revved herself up for her confession.

"I know that things haven't been the best between us since…well, since that night," Lexa's hands fell from her cheeks to land on her hips,"I-I can't hide from it anymore, Lexa. I can't. I know you said what we did was a mistake but I can't help but think that's a lie. And you know it too. You know there's something different there. Something _more_."

Lexa's jaw clenched as she threw her gaze to the side but Clarke was quick to grab her chin softly and pull her back into her line of vision.

"I can see it in your eyes. You're just holding it back. Why? Why are you so scared to be with me?" Clarke whispered.

"It's not you, Clarke…," Lexa trailed off.

"It's you, right?" Clarke wanted to scoff at the overused words but decided against it.

"I can't. It was a mis—."

The blonde's blonde's fingers tightening desperately against her chin stopped her words.

"Don't!" Clarke billowed with shaky lips,"Don't say it was a mistake. It _wasn't_ and you know it. Dammit, Lexa. Why can't you just admit that?"

The next second she was pushed fully against the wall, more than she previously was. Hands moved against her ribs softly brushing the underside of her breasts. Lips parted her's in a desperate dance. Languid but needy all in one. A blur of emotions behind the pillowy lips that left Clarke dazed and confused as they broke away.

"Be angry with me all you want but I can't let you get hu-…It was a mistake, Clarke. Just leave it at that," Lexa whispered against her cheek, hands smoothing over blonde locks as she pulled her closer for one last moment.

And then she was gone. A bitter brush of cool air replacing her as she left Clarke leaning against the wall for support. And she couldn't move. There was that feeling, rising to the surface, only to be swashed down once again. This time by the bitter anger, the one that was _real_ and not something she was hiding behind. Fingers danced over her lips as she chuckled darkly, Lexa's words echoing in her head.

She tried. She really did. And she got the outcome that she expected. Still no returned feelings.

But she didn't realize how _cold_ it made her.

At least the fears were gone, replaced by that strong body and twin green pools that she'd come to both love and hate. She would cling to that newly formed memory and let it last as long as she needed it. Either until she no longer carries the feeling that she does or until Lexa finally realizes what that _something is_ that Clarke could see shimmering deep into her eyes.

She prayed to the stars that it would be the latter.


End file.
